Page 143 of What We Brave
Too much. You're being too much.
I force myself to step back. Give her space. My hands are shaking. I curl them into fists at my sides.
"Sorry." I run a hand through my hair. "I'm a lot right now. I know."
"It's okay." But she's breathing fast. "Just... give me a second."
Reid's watching us from the stove, spatula in hand, not even pretending to hide his smile.
"You're enjoying this," Laine accuses him.
"Little bit." He flips the eggs. "Blake's been on edge for weeks. Nice to see someone else deal with it for a change."
"Asshole," I mutter. But he's not wrong. I've been ragged. Fraying at the edges since that first date. Fuck. Since before that.
"Love you too." He plates the eggs. "Toast'll be ready in a minute. Everyone sit down and eat breakfast like normal people."
Laine looks at me. I look at her.
Normal. Right.
Nothing about this is normal.
We sit at the round table. Reid's talking about something—a call from yesterday, some guy who got his hand stuck in a blender. I catch maybe every third word.
Laine's across from me. She's got a piece of toast in her hand, nibbling at the corner. Her lips are still swollen. Every time she shifts in her chair, Reid's t-shirt rides up her thigh.
I watch it happen. The fabric sliding up. An inch of bare skin. Then two. I think about putting my hand there. Sliding it higher. Finding out if she's wearing anything underneath.
She's not. I fucking know she's not. I could be in her in a fucking heartbeat.
My fork scrapes against the plate. Too loud.
"Blake?" Reid's looking at me. "You good?"
"Fine."
"You're not eating."
I stab an egg. Shove it in my mouth. Chew. It tastes like nothing.
Laine's watching me now too. Those big eyes seeing right through me. She knows. She has to know. Can probably see exactly what's going on behind my face because I'm not trying to hide a goddamn thing from her.
"So anyway," Reid continues, "the guy's screaming about his smoothie while we're trying to get his fingers free. Tony's dying laughing. Completely unprofessional."
"Mmm," Laine says. She's not really listening either.
I grip my coffee mug. Focus on the heat against my palm.Ground yourself, Moore. You're not an animal.
But fuck, I want to be.
Don't push. Don't rush her. You're in this for the long haul.
I've waited my whole fucking life for this woman. I can wait longer. I won't be the guy who scares her. Who takes too much too fast and watches her pull away. I've already been the guy who hurt her. Already been the guy who made her feel small. I don't get to be greedy now just because my body thinks it's going to die if I don't touch her.
"Blake, you're staring," Reid says.
"No I'm not."
