Page 204 of What We Break
"I tried to take a contract. Overseas. To give you two space." He takes a long swallow of whiskey, grimacing as it goes down. "Reid begged me to stay. Said he couldn't handle it if I left."
The air leaves my lungs.
Reid begged him to stay.
I thought Reid was fighting forme. I thought he was drawing boundaries, telling Blake to back off. But when Blake offered him an out—a way to clear the air, to give us a chance—Reid panicked.
He chose Blake.
Oh my god.
He will always choose Blake.
"He needs you," I say softly, the realization settling over me like a heavy blanket. This isn't going to get better. Reid is too attached to Blake. He needs him too much. And Blake is who he is. He's not going to change.
There's no good choice here. If I want Reid, I'm going to have to do everything in my power to stay away from Blake.
It's impossible. How could I live like that?
"He thinks he does," Blake mutters.
I study his profile. The pain etched into the lines around his eyes. The desperation in the way he grips that glass like it's the only thing holding him to the earth.
"Blake," I ask, the question slipping out before I can stop it. "Are you in love with him?"
His head snaps toward me. His eyes go wide, genuine shock replacing the brooding. For a second, he looks like I just spoke Greek.
Then, he lets out a short, bitter laugh. "You're fucking insane."
I guess that's a no. Which is a little disappointing. It would make so much more sense if he were secretly in love with Reid. "Then what is it?" I ask. "Why is this so intense? Why can't you let him be happy?"
"Because he's not happy!" Blake hisses, leaning in close. "He thinks he is. He thinks he can play house with you and everything will be fine. But he's fragile, Laine. He's barely holding it together. And whenyou leave—because youwillleave—he's going to shatter. And I'm the one who has to sweep up the pieces."
"I wasn't going to leave," I whisper.
"Everyone leaves," he says. It sounds like a fact. Like gravity.
He turns back to his drink. "Just... stay away from me, Laine. Please. Just stay away."
"You live in the same house."
"I know." He closes his eyes for a second. "I know."
He sounds defeated. He sounds like a man who is trapped in a cage and has stopped fighting the bars.
I slide off the stool. My legs feel unsteady.
"Okay," I say quietly.
He doesn't look at me. "Go back to your friends, Laine."
I walk back to the booth. Jamila and Kerry are watching me, their expressions tight with worry.
"Well?" Jamila asks as I slide in. "What did he say?"
I grab my purse. I feel cold all over.
"He said everyone leaves," I say.
