Page 171 of What We Break
Blake is staring at the mantel again. "You haven't been shitty. You've been in love."
The way he says it makes my stomach twist. Like being in love is a disease, or a betrayal. I fucking hate this. I hate that everything with Laine is so amazing, and things with Blake are going down the fucking shitter.
"I can be in love and still be a good friend."
"Can you?" Blake looks at me and I get this weird vertigo. I don’t recognize him. "Because it doesn't feel like it."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you disappear for days at a time. I mean you come home to shower and change clothes and then you're gone again. I haven't had a real conversation with you in three weeks."
He's right. I know he's right. But it's not like he's some master of communication. Hell, before Laine we could go days with nothing more than a 'morning'. Our schedules were different, we were focused on different things, and that wasn't a problem.
"You could have said something. Could have asked me to stay home once in a while."
"And what? Be the pathetic, jealous roommate?" Blake laughs bitterly. "No thanks."
Jealous. That's not the right word, but I don't know what the right word is. Blake's not jealous of Laine. He doesn't want what I have with her. He's just...
"You're not pathetic," I say.
"Aren't I? Sitting here drunk at midnight, whining because my best friend has better things to do than babysit me?"
"That's not what this is."
"Isn't it?" Blake picks up the bottle again, but doesn't drink from it. Just holds it like an anchor. "Face it, Reid. I'm the third wheel now. The weird single guy who lives in your house and makes it awkward when you want to bring your girlfriend home."
"It's our house, asshole. Besides, Laine likes you."
Blake snorts. "Laine tolerates me. There's a difference."
"That's not true."
"It doesn't matter anyway." Blake sets the bottle down and looks at me, gaze locked on. "I've been thinking about getting out of here."
My heart stops. Not metaphorically. The actual organ in my chest just quits for a full beat. "What do you mean, getting out?"
"I mean maybe it's time for me to find my own place. Let you and Laine have this house to yourselves."
"Blake, no. You don't have to?—"
"Or maybe I should re-enlist."
And now it's back, hammering so hard I can feel it in my teeth. "What?"
"You heard me. Maybe it's time to go back. Get a fresh start somewhere else."
"You can't be serious."
"Why not? What's keeping me here?"
"Me." He can't fucking leave. "I'm keeping you here. This house, our life, everything we've built together."
"Our life?" Blake's voice drops. Gets quiet. The kind of quiet that makes the back of my neck prickle. "Reid, you haven't been part of our life in a month. You've got a new life now. With her."
"That's not... Laine doesn't replace you."
"Doesn't she?" Blake takes a long pull from the bottle. "Look, I've been thinking about this for weeks. The military worked for me, Reid. Really worked. I was good at what I did."
