Page 164 of What We Break
Fuck. If that phone call had come six months from now, would it be a different story? Would she have told him that she can't go right then and there? Would I be deep enough in her heart to be her first choice?
I don't fucking know.
"Relationship stuff," I say finally.
"Ah. Laine."
"Yeah."
"What happened?"
The light turns green and Tony accelerates, but I can feel him waiting for an answer. Tony's a good partner—gives you space when you need it, but doesn't let you wallow in your own shit.
"She got offered a job," I say. "Big opportunity. Honduras. Three years."
Tony whistles low. "That's a long time. Long way away too."
"Yeah."
"She gonna take it?"
That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? "I don't know. Maybe. Probably." I run my hands through my hair. "It's the kind of job she's always wanted. Building a clinic from scratch, training local staff. Real impact."
"Sounds like her kind of thing."
It is. That's what makes this so fucked up. If this was some random job offer, some lateral move for more money, I'd tell her it was crazy to leave what we have. But this? This is her calling. Her chance to do the work she was meant to do. How selfish of an asshole would I have to be to beg her to stay?
"You tell her not to take it?" Tony asks.
"I told her she should take it."
Tony nearly rear-ends the car in front of us, and my butt clenches."You what?"
"I told her she should take it. That she'd be crazy not to consider it seriously."
"Jesus, Reid. Why would you do that?"
Good question. Why did I do that? Because watching her face light up when that doctor described the job made me realize something I didn't want to admit. She wants it. Maybe not more than she wants me, but she wants it. And I don't love that the decision is so hard for her.
"Because I love her," I say.
"That's the dumbest fucking logic I've ever heard."
"Is it? Tony, you should have seen her face when he was describing the job. She lit up. Like, actually lit up." I lean back in my seat. "How can I ask her to give that up for me?"
"Maybe by asking her what she wants instead of deciding for her?"
"I did ask her what she wants."
"Before or after you told her she should take the job?"
After. Definitely after. By the time I asked her what she wanted, I'd already made it clear what I thought she should do.
"Fuck," I mutter.
"Yeah, fuck." Tony turns into the station parking lot. "Reid, how long have you two been together?"
"Almost four months."
