Page 208 of What We Break
Don't like that. At all. "Murphy's? Why?"
"Blake was there."
His name lands between us like a fucking rock.
Blake. Of course. He walked out of the workshop while I was in the shower. I knew he was gone—his truck wasn't in his spot—but I figured he was just driving around, cooling off. And what? She went to meet him? Why the fuck would she do that?
"Did he say something to you?" I step closer, my hands curling into fists at my sides. If he touched her... if he insulted her again... "Laine, if he started shit with you, I swear to God?—"
"He told me the truth, Reid."
I freeze. "What truth?"
"He told me about the contract."
The world stops. The sound of the wind in the trees, the hum of the porch light, the blood rushing in my ears—it all just stops.
The contract. Afghanistan.
"He told me he tried to leave tonight," she says, her voice trembling now. "He told me he had a job lined up in Afghanistan. He was going to go. He was going to give us space. He was going to give us a chance."
I open my mouth, but what the fuck can I say. I feel like I’ve been caught red-handed standing over a body.
"And he told me you begged him to stay."
"I didn't beg," I croak. My voice sounds wrecked. "I just... I told him I needed him."
"You stopped him." She looks at me, and her eyes are swimming with tears. "He offered you an out. He offered you a solution to all of the fighting, all of the tension. He was willing to ship himself halfway across the world so thatwecould work. And you said no."
"I did it for him!" I step forward, reaching for her, but she takes a sharp step back. My hand drops to my side. "Laine, you don't understand. He’s not stable. Sending him back to a war zone right now? It would be a death sentence. I was protecting him."
"You chose him."
"I didn't choose him over you! That’s not what this is!" Why can't she understand that it wasn't a fucking choice? I can't risk him dying over there. He's not in a good headspace, and he hasn't been for a while.
"It is exactly what this is." A tear spills over, tracking down her cheek. "Jamila was right. I’m not dating a man. I’m dating a committee. And the chairman just vetoed my happiness."
"That's not fair," I plead. "I love you. I want you. Keeping Blake here doesn't change that. We can still be happy. We can still?—"
"How?" she interrupts, her voice rising. "How can we be happy when I know that my boyfriend discusses all our private stuff with his roommate?"
"I was scared," I whisper. "I’m sorry. Laine, I swear to God, I’m sorry. I never thought he would say that shit to you."
"But he did. Because he knows everything. There is no 'us', Reid. There's only the three of us." She looks down at the ground, frowning. "It's like the two of you are on the same team, and I’m just the visitor."
"No." I shake my head violently. "No, that’s not true. You’re not a visitor. You’re my future. You’re everything."
"Then why is he still here?"
"Fuck! Because he’s my best friend! Because he saved my life! You can’t ask me to just throw him away!"
"I never asked you to throw him away," she says softly. "You had a chance to let him leave whenhewanted to go. You had the chance to prioritize us for once. And you couldn't do it."
She reaches for the door handle of her car.
Panic explodes in my chest. A primal, terrifying need to stop her. If she gets in that car, it’s over. I know it. I can feel it in the air.
"Laine, wait. Please." I rush forward, grabbing her hand before she can open the door. Her skin is ice cold. "Don't do this. Don't leave like this. We can fix it. I’ll fix it."
