Page 96 of Zach
amazing life can be with the right person.”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t have room in my life for that,” I say stubbornly.
“Why? Your schedule all filled up banging women from the club? What if you stopped spending
time with those women and just focused on one?”
“That’s the problem, though, isn’t it?” Nick says softly. “All those women don’t require shit from
you…they may want it, but it’s easy to brush them off. This isn’t a Maya issue, it’s a Zach issue.”
“Issue? It’s not an issue to like variety, asshole. I can have any woman I want in my bed, any night
of the week.”
“Sounds really lonely,” Becca murmurs.
I rear back and stare at her because…what the fuck? “I live surrounded by everyone I love. I’m
not lonely. I’m barely ever alone, for fuck’s sake.”
It’s true. There are a million people around all the time. Though the days of popping into any
apartment I want are gone, now that there are women added to the mix. I’m happy for my brothers,
truly. I love all their women, even Becca, but it’s changed everything.
“It’s different, though,” Nick murmurs, staring up at the ceiling. “I want it. I’m not afraid to admit
it. I see what it’s like to be in love and be loved back, and I’m a little jealous. If I found a good
woman, you can bet I’d snatch her up.”
“Just like that? What about everything else? What about all the relationships you’re managing
already?”
“Managing?” Becca asks with a frown. “What do you mean?”
“All the headspace the relationships take up,” I say, honestly confused that I have to explain this
shit. “When you love people, they have a permanent spot in your mind. They’re always there, needing
you, taking space from the rest of your brain, using up your resources, taking away from everything
else you are.”
“Jesus,” she breathes, eyes wide. “I never, not once, looked at it like that.”
“What other way is there to look at it?” I ask, wiping my suddenly damp palms on my pants.
“Zach,” she says softly. “Loving people shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice. The people I love take up
space in my brain, yes, but that doesn’t give me less capacity to be me.”
“But don’t you worry about them?”
She presses her lips together briefly, glancing at Nick. “Want to help me out here? I feel like I’m
