Page 144 of Zach
“Neither have I.”
My embarrassment is washed away by absolute disbelief. “Are you making fun of me? No way
you’ve never dated.”
He props his elbow on the window and turns to face me. “I don’t date Maya. Ever. I meet women,
I spend a little time with them, then we….” His lips firm, and he looks away from me.
I drop my eyes to my sparkly black flats. “You have sex. You spend a little time with them, then
you have sex.”
He looks at me grimly, eyes narrow, the hand on the car door gripping tightly. “Yeah.”
I nod because, of course, I knew that. “So you just go out, and what…women just invite you back
to their place?”
He shrugs, but the move isn’t casual. “Something like that.”
“I see,” I murmur. And I do. This man is light ages beyond anything I know. He’s been with so
many people, and I kissed one boy in High School. We are not the same, not at all.
He shifts to face forward, and I study his profile. He looks as tired as I feel. The elation I felt at
actually being asked out is fading, and all my insecurities about…well, everything come roaring in.
“Ransom was at the hotel tonight,” he says. “We sat in the bar for a while, and he said something
that stuck with me.” He glances over at me, then away. “He said we need to stop assuming we
understand someone and just talk to them.”
“That’s good advice.”
“Yeah, it is.” He runs his big hand along his thigh, smoothing along the still-sharp crease. He takes
a deep breath, then turns to me. “I have spent a lot of years having meaningless sex with a lot of
women. And now, you’ve come into my life, and I wish I hadn’t. I wish I had done things differently.”
“Why?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Because I’m afraid you’re going to judge me for it, and not give me a chance.”
“And you want a chance?”
“I wouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t. I’ve never done that. Not once.”
He’s never asked out a woman. Except me. I glance away and wet my lips. I don’t usually have a
problem with honesty, but the stakes feel really high, and I’m afraid of beingtoohonest.
“I…ah…I’m worried that I don’t have enough experience for you. And that you’re either going to
want more from me than I’m ready for, or you’ll get bored and change your mind.”
