Page 18 of Declan
“That sounds like heaven. Why don’t you—“ The club’s ring peals on my phone. I send an apologetic smile to Bree. We both know if they’re calling me, I’m going to end up going in.
She waves me off, snuggling back down into the bed. “I’ll save some for you.”
“You’re getting pizza without me?”
She snickers, “Fuck yea. Bye-bye. Catch ya later.”
I take her laughter with me into the night. Taking a minute when I hit the silence of my car to appreciate the spark lit in her. The one I thought would be permanently snuffed out by that night. I push the flutter of panic, of fear, that rises like a tide when I think of it. Of him. Tyler. Of what could have happened and of what I did. I let my tears fall there in my dark car, just like I did yesterday. And the day before. Someday, it’ll feel better, right? Someday, I won’t have to carry this guilt.
Someday. I hope.
10
DECLAN
S he barely looked at me as we unloaded her stuff into the apartment. Not once did she make actual eye contact. I fucking tried to get her alone again, but my brothers were in the way. Colt’s words are still ringing in my ear as I pound on Zach’s door. Is it actually true? Cara’s fucking dynamite, and I guarantee she gets offers. Why would she not be dating anyone? Colt has to be wrong.
Zach swings open the door, still in his tailored suit. Fucker carried boxes in a five thousand dollar suit. He’s always dressed like he’s going to be on the cover of some fancy magazine. His hair is always fucking perfect. His suit is never wrinkled. He’s a full-on grown-up.
I, meanwhile, only bought new jeans because my new workout routine had my thighs busting out of my old ones.
“You heading out tonight?”
He studies me, seeing way too fucking much. “Come in.” He turns, heading into his place. I follow behind him, careful to keep my hands in my pockets. More than any of us, Zach appreciates nice things. He fills his walls with expensive art featuring...I don’t know what. It’s all squiggles and slashes and looks kind of like someone just yeeted the paint at the canvas. But I keep my hands in my pockets because I broke a $30,000 vase in this apartment once, and I don’t plan to repeat it. His whole apartment looks like it would fit neatly inside a museum for art or other expensive shit.
“I take it you want to go out tonight?” He mirrors my pose, hands tucked in the pockets of his suit.
“Yeah. I think I just need to get the fuck out of here for a little while.”
“Colton told me about a club he invested in. We can go there. I just need a few minutes to freshen up.”
Freshen up? He already looks fucking perfect. What is there left to freshen? And since when do guys say freshen up? The man has always been obsessed with the mirror. He used to pose and make model faces when we were kids.
I follow him to his bedroom. He heads into his closet, flipping through the packed contents. I’ve never been in here before, but holy fuck. “Dude, seriously? Do you really need this many suits?”
He smirks, sliding me his signature panty-dropping smile over his shoulder. The same one he used to practice in the mirror. Well he practiced that and what Colt calls his sexy man lips.
“I can afford them, and I look fucking amazing in them. Besides,” he mutters, pulling off his shirt, “the ladies love them.”
Do the ladies love them? I suppose they’re an upgrade from my everyday wardrobe of jeans and hoodies. “Is that my problem, then? The way I dress?”
His face turns serious. He stops, shirtless, holding a thin sweater. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Dec. When the world looks at you, they see a rich, successful guy who’s not too hard to look at. The world isn’t the problem.”
It’s an echo of what I’ve been thinking lately. I’ve been in my own fucking head for too long. I let my obsession with Cara, my fixation on her, take control of me.
“So, what is my problem?” I make sure my voice conveys curiosity and not a big old fuck you because I honestly feel like I need another perspective at this point. Maybe Zach sees something that I don’t.
He pulls his black sweater over his head. “Why are you so scared of Cara? I mean, she’s hot as fuck, and if she was rubbing up on me the way she does to you, you can be damn sure I’d have her in my bed. But you’ve spent more time running away from her than actually talking to her. Your problem is in your fucking head.”
“How the fuck did you know this is about Cara?”
He laughs, shaking his head as he exchanges the expensive watch on his wrist for another equally expensive one.
“We all know you’ve been fucking with her computer so you can see her every single day. And I’ve been with you at these fucking clubs for months. Not once have you taken anyone home, even though you’ve had plenty of offers. Why?”
I can feel my cheeks heating as he looks at me. I shrug, hands still in my pockets. “It just wasn’t right, man. I don’t know how else to explain it.” Plus I wasn’t going to pick anyone up. I just wanted to try and be the kind of guy Cara would like.
He nods, looking unsurprised. “I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to be obsessed with one woman, but I would imagine that’s pretty normal. You want her, and nobody else is going to do. So where does that leave you?”
