Page 14 of Declan
“I fucked up really badly that night. I know you accepted my apology earlier, but it didn’t feel like enough. I should never have said what I said. I was completely out of line.”
Cara’s lips twist into a grimace. “Declan, you said that already. But not once have you said you were wrong.” She wets her lips. “Why would you say that to me? Do you really believe that?”
Christ, I can’t look at her. “Not really. I know nothing that happened that night was your fault. I do. And it was stupid of me to ever say that it was. My only defense is that I was freaked out to see you there. You were hurt and bruised, and I didn’t handle it well.”
“You didn’t handle it well,” she echoes, rubbing the corner of her eye. “That’s an understatement.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Again.”
“What do you want from me, Declan?”
“I want things to go back to the way they were. At work, I mean. I want us to go back to being friends.”
“You think we were friends?”
“Well. Yeah. We saw each other every day. We talked.”
She’s shaking her head, a sad laugh on her lips. “Declan, we weren’t friends. Did you even know I had a sister before that night?”
I shift uncomfortably. She reads the answer on my face, unsurprised. “Yeah. You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about my life.”
“That’s bullshit. You didn’t tell me about your sister. How was I supposed to know?”
“You could have asked Declan. You could have tried to get to know me. You never did.”
I rake my hands through my nonexistent hair. Maybe this is why Colton’s always running his fingers through his beard. I move my hand to my beard and try it, and while not quite as satisfying, it’ll do.
“Cara, you were kinda...always right there,” I say, putting my hand in front of my face.
Her cheeks redden further, and she turns away. “Yeah. I guess I owe you an apology for that, too. I behaved inappropriately with you at work. I should never have...done that.”
“That? Do you mean the cornering me at work, the rubbing up on me? The touching me.” There was so much touching. I loved it, but it killed me. The way she’d run those pointy nails of hers over the collar of my shirt or down the zipper on my hoodie. It was sexy as fuck, and I would blank every single time she did it, unable to think of anything but backing her into the wall, lifting her skirt, and pushing into her.
“I am well aware that my behavior was out of line,” she says stiffly. “You would have been within your right to report me for harassment.” I nearly laugh at that. Why the fuck would I report her for something I looked forward to every day?
“Why did you do it?”
“It was a mistake. I was teasing, but I realize now I crossed a line.”
Shit. My chest deflates. I always hoped she liked me. I was just too fucking insecure to do anything about it. But I was wrong, and it’s way too late. “So...you don’t like me anymore? That’s what you’re saying?”
“You asked me if we could go back to the way things were. I’m answering you. No. No, they can’t go back. I won’t act like that anymore. You’re my colleague, and I should have always been treating you more professionally. I will from now on.”
I don’t want professional. I don’t want distance. I don’t want her doing what she has been doing for the last three weeks, ignoring me. I want her fucking hands back on me.
“Can we...can we just slow down for a minute?”
She crosses her arms under her breasts, eyes heavy. “Declan, I don’t think there’s anything more to say. You don’t owe me anything. I don’t owe you anything. We work together, and that’s it. Right?”
“But why can’t we be friends?”
“You think I’m the kind of person who would choose to party, over my sister. Why would you want to be friends with someone you think so little of?”
“Fuck! I told you I was sorry.”
Cara ignites, dropping her arms and pushing into my space. “Do you respect the way I live my life, Declan? Yes or no?”
“I respect you, Cara, but don’t you talk about going to clubs every night?” I need to stop. I should stop. But of course, I fucking don’t. She asked me a question, and now, of course, I have to answer it. “Maybe there’s something else you could do. Maybe take up a hobby or join a club or something.” Holy fuck, I’m so stupid. Why the fuck do I do this?
