Page 56 of Colton
How can she not get this? “I fucking told you I’m a grown man. I’ve had women. And I’ve never felt anything like this thing between us.”
I jump to my knees, planting my hands on her bed at her hips, an awful realization washing down my back. “Do…Do you not feel the same way?”
Jesus. I’m a fucking idiot. I’m desperate for this woman, but it’s suddenly crystal clear that she’s trying to talk me out of it. How fucking stupid am I? Just because she’s attracted to me doesn’t mean she has to date me. All of these reasons seem to be stacking up into a kind ‘fuck off’.
I need out.
Now.
Shaking my head, I push to my feet. “I thought…well. Never mind what I thought.” She said she wanted me. But maybe she didn’t mean it the same way. I wish we were back in middle school, but like, the Netflix middle school, where people pass notes to figure out if someone likes them. My high school? You like someone you meet them in the bathroom and fuck.
This relationship shit is complicated.
I turn, heading for the door. Maybe I can get a few hours of lifting in. Anything to turn my fucking brain off. Anything to stop the pain this woman inflicted with her simple words.
“Colt. Where are you going?” She asks, her voice quiet.
I rest my hand on the doorknob. “It’s ok Evie. I thought maybe you felt the same way I did. But you’re painting a pretty clear picture for me.” My mouth is dry. “I’d like to still see Mia if that’s ok with you.”
“See Mia? Wait, what picture?” She yells.
I laugh and let my head bang against the door. “Jesus. Fuck. You’ve essentially told me I’m a fucking idiot and don’t know my own mind or my own feelings. You don’t want me. You’re pretty fucking clear.”
23
COLTON
Icrack open the door, shocked as shit when Evie’s body hits my side, her hand pushing the door shut, caging us both inside.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me, Colton Miles.” She hisses, her eyes fiery. She looks down, slapping my hand off the doorknob, then shoves me back. She’s tall, she’s got some weight to her, but no fucking way can she move me. But I back up, kinda loving the way she’s manhandling me. Suddenly, hope comes roaring back in. I hold my breath, wondering what the fuck she’s going to do next.
“That’s not what…fuck.” She groans, raking her hands through her hair. “I’m just having a hard time with the sudden shift. I was figuring out how to be friends with you, and suddenly that’s out the window.”
“I am your friend Evie. But is me wanting more such a bad thing?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
Her forehead wrinkles. “It’s a scary thing. All these insecurities and what ifs are flooding through me, and they’re spilling over.”
I step closer until she’s pressed against the door, our bodies a breath from touching. “I get it. The same thing’s been happening in my brain for weeks.”
“How did you stop them?”
“I haven’t completely. But my feelings for you are stronger than the rest of that shit.”
She nods, biting her lip, staring at my throat. “I had you in the friend box Colt.”
“I know. You gonna let me get out of it?”
She tilts her head back, showing me her shadowed eyes. “What happens if this turns into…nothing?”
My hands tighten into fists at the idea of us being nothing. No warmth, no attraction between us. “We’ll never be nothing, Evie. It’s not possible. My feelings for you are not going to go away. They’re not going to change.”
“What if I turn into a raging bitch?”
“What if I sneeze too hard, my eyeball pops out, and I have to wear an eyepatch for the rest of my life?”
She rears back. “Ah…what?”
“It’s equally likely as you turning into a raging bitch. I like the what-if game. Let’s play some more. What if I’m the world’s best boyfriend and you fall completely in love with me?”
