Page 63 of Kade
He’s a workhorse, driving into me over and over until I combust. He holds me, still moving gently as I ride the waves, clenching around him. I relax my fingers, pretty sure I left some nasty marks on his ass. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him tighter into me.
“Now you. Now, Kade, now.”
He shakes his head, “Not yet. You’re so beautiful, baby. I need you to come again. Together, baby, we’re fire.”
No way am I going to disappoint him, so I tighten my arms around him and widen my legs, feeling the stretch in my inner thighs. Might as well give him more room to work.
And work he does.
Until nothing exists but the two of us, and I’m screaming his name. Only then, as my shudders subside, does he finally let go, his thrusts becoming harder, more erratic.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he groans as he comes, his hips slowing, riding out the high.
As our breathing slows, he pulls out with a bite to my neck. He gathers me up, tucking me under him, safe, sheltered.
Kade’s running soft kisses across my face, my eyelids, down my jaw. “I never knew,” he whispers between kisses. “I didn’t know it could be like this, Becca.”
I hum in agreement and slap his shoulder. “Just think what you’ve been missing! We could have been doing this the whole time, asshole.”
His chuckle rumbles through me, but he pulls his head back to look at me, his smile slowly slipping away as he shakes his head. “No, baby. It wouldn’t have been like this.”
His fingers are gently rubbing my cheekbone. His focus moved inward for a moment before coming back to me. His eyes are a little lost. A little sad. I wish I could wipe it all away for him, but I can’t. I don’t want to. I love the man he is, so maybe I have to love everything that made him who he is now.
Even the painful stuff.
Kade’s fingers travel up, tracing my eyebrows, feathering my eyelashes. Having a man so hard touch me so gently is just…everything.
“I wasn’t ready for you, Becca,” he admits. “I knew you were different…but I didn’t realize I could be, too.” He sighs, dipping in to rub his nose along my cheek. “I’m so sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
He’d apologized before, but here, in the peace after the storm, his words feel deeper. Truer. I let them sink deep, through my skin and muscle, until they settle there, right in the middle of my chest. I smile up at him, ready to move on. To let the defenses, the protections around my heart, go.
I thread my hands through his hair. “I know. It’s over now. I accept your apology.” My nose crinkles as my smile gets bigger. “It’s time for amends,” I say as I press on the top of his head, pushing him down my body.
Kade’s smile matches mine as he slides down between my legs, his wide shoulders spreading my thighs. “It might take me a while. I’ve got a lot of fucking amends to make.”
“Take your time,” I murmur, letting myself slide into the feel of him. Of us.
We feel fucking amazing.
30
KADE
My relationships with other women were about pain. About worry. About fear. About waiting for the next betrayal. They were about my failures, too.
Failure to protect. Failure to be enough. I thought that if I did better, did more, I would be good enough for them to stop. Stop doing drugs, stop stealing, stop using me.
Stop self-destructing.
I didn’t understand how fucked up that was until Becca. She didn’t want anything from me. And it took me a while to see that when I gave, she gave too. I gave her a job, and she gave me back my time. I gave her a place to stay, and she gave me laughter. I gave her trust, and she gave me hers in return.
I didn’t realize I was testing her. Not at the time. It didn’t start out that way. I fully expected her to implode just like every other woman I’ve let close. But when she didn’t, I started searching for cracks. And when I couldn’t find them, instead of being grateful and grabbing onto her with both hands, I got scared and tried to create them myself.
I’d never been with someone whole. Someone who’d been through fire but hadn’t lost themselves in the flames. A woman who’d come through them unafraid to face the fire again.
She was terrifying.
Fuck, she’s still terrifying, but I’m working every day to be worthy of her and not let all my shit get between us. To be the man who will walk through fire for her.
