Page 55 of Kade
I see the regret pass over his face before the joker comes back. “Are you sure? I’ve been told I have a really talented tongue. I’m happy to give you a demonstration.”
I laugh and shake my head, waiting for Kade to curse him out and claim me. I hear Micah laughing, but I reel back when I meet Kade’s frigid eyes. He’s silent and still, carved out of stone.
I barely notice Colton moving to take the knife from my hand or Micah guiding Holly into a chair, kneeling in front of her. Or the flashing lights of the police. I’m trapped by the ice in Kade’s face. We answer questions, hand over security tape, and it’s all a blur.
I keep making excuses for why he hasn’t come to hold me. Maybe he’s in shock? Maybe he’s waiting for more privacy? But why? He’s wrapped me up in his arms in front of an audience before. And I really need it now. Why won’t he come to me? The cold in his face keeps me from going to him. I feel shaky, and I don’t think I can handle him rejecting me right now.
I shake out of my daze as Holly’s trembling body hits mine. I hug her close, resting my chin on her head while she sobs. I rub her back and close my eyes, so grateful that she’s safe. That everyone’s safe. That I could protect them. I trained my whole life for a moment like this. A moment I honestly never thought would come.
My world was always so safe. With Dad around, I always knew I would be okay. That he would have my back. So the sparring and fighting were…fun. They were part of my job. But that sense of safety was shattered when Dad got sick.
I thought I was rebuilding that here, though. That I would have Kade in my corner. Maybe I was wrong because it suddenly feels like a fucking football field is between us. Holly’s sobs taper off, and I dip my head to meet her eyes.
“You’re okay, Hol.”
She nods and sniffles. “I didn’t see,” she says, her voice thick with tears. “Did you use some of the moves you’re teaching us in class?”
I smile gently and squeeze her a little tighter. “Yeah, hon, I did. And a few that are a little more advanced.”
She nods, deep in thought, before firming her lips and drawing her spine up. “I want to learn those too.” Her voice is firm. Sure. And I’m so proud of her.
“I’ll teach you,” I promise her. And I will. Every woman that walks through my self-defense class will learn how to protect themselves. But Holly? My dear friend Holly? I’m going to teach her how to make men cry if she wants me to. “Will you let Micah take you home?” I whisper to her.
She nods against my cheek.
“Micah, could you please take Holly home?” I ask. The way Micah wraps his arm around her, comforting her, is sweet. Dad would wrap me up like that while I was shaking through the adrenaline crash at a tournament. Or when that little weasel Jack asked me to the ninth-grade dance and then kissed Julia. I kept it together until Dad picked me up. Then I let go, knowing he’d hold me together until I could be strong again. He always held me through the high moments and the low. He was always so present, so solid, so safe.
I miss him.
I watch Micah and Holly get to the car, then turn as Colton stops beside me. “Badass Becca.”
We smile.
“Those were some pretty killer moves.”
I nod, waiting for the question I know is coming. I could tell when he walked in the door that he trained in martial arts. The fluidity in his body as he moves is a dead giveaway. He carries himself the way the top fighters do. The way I do. With absolute confidence in themselves and their abilities.
“What kind of training have you got?”
I tap my chin. “Hummm,” I say, playing with him a bit.
“Becca,” he coaxes playfully, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
I drop my finger and shrug my shoulders. “Third Dan BJJ. First Dan in Tae Kwon Do. Fourth Dan in Judo,” I say with a smile. Colton’s eyes get wider at each belt I list off, his admiration for the years of dedication to martial arts clear.
I sneak a glance at Kade leaning on the reception desk. I don’t know what I hoped to see on his face. Admiration. Love. Affection. Acceptance. Something warm. I don’t find it, and it leaves me feeling colder. Colton’s whistle brings my attention back to him.
“Maybe we can spar sometime, Badass Becca,” he asks, golden retriever energy spilling from him. “I think we can learn a lot from each other.”
“Deal,” I say softly, knowing I’ll make it happen. Even if things fall apart with Kade like I think they’re about to. I watch Colton wave and exit out the front, hopping into the backseat of Micah’s car.
I shudder, feeling the arctic blast coming from Kade, and take a deep breath before turning to meet his eyes. I miss the warmth he usually looks at me with. The little curve on the corner of his mouth as he teases me. We stand, staring at each other, and I’m terrified to speak first. Maybe I’m wrong about what he’s thinking.
“This isn’t going to work,” he blurts.
I wait, my mouth dry, heart pounding. Hoping that he’ll smile and say he’s making some stupid joke. The tension between us is snapped by the glare of headlights and slamming doors outside. I glance over my shoulder and see the glass guys working to unstrap the new front door from the side of their truck.
“I’m going home. I need to shower the blood off,” I mutter, walking around him, grabbing my purse, and rushing into the bays and out the back door. I don’t look back at him.
