Page 57 of Kade
Colt nods, “I know, man. You want to make it better for them. You’re always trying to fix them, but you’re not going to find what you need with those women.”
I sigh, too fucking tired for this. “Okay, Dr. Phil, what do I need?” Colt’s thick fist comes up and raps my chest
“To fucking know that you’re worth loving, man.”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “Seriously, dude?” Is he fucking kidding? I don’t need anything from those women. They needed me. They needed my help. Why is it so wrong to try and help people?
Colt swats my face. “Pay attention, dipshit. This is way overdue, and I want to make sure you don’t miss a second of this. Since your dumb ass can’t seem to connect the dots in your own fucking life, I’m going to lay it out for you. Ready?”
I growl at him, and he swats my face again. “Asshole, stop slapping me!”
He swats me again. “Not until you’re fucking paying attention,” he says calmly. I yell at him in frustration and drive my fists into his stomach. He barely grunts, just staring at me like I’m the dumbest fucking person on the planet.
“WHAT!” I finally shout, crossing my arms to glare at him. I’ll hear him out, then kick his ass out. I’m pretty sure I still have a bottle of Jack stashed in the desk. I’ll get nice and numb, then go let Becca destroy me.
“You are a good man, Kade.” Colton’s voice is deep. ”You are always there for your brothers. You’re really fucking smart. You’ve got the kindest heart out of all of us. And somehow, you don’t see it.”
“What don’t I see, Colt?” I ask, avoiding his piercing eyes.
“That you fucking deserve to be loved just the way you are, man.”
“Yeah, you said that already.”
“But you’re not really getting it, brother. Do you even realize what you were doing with all those women before Becca?” I groan and roll my eyes.
“I’m sure you’ll fucking enlighten me.” My sarcasm just bounces off him.
“You find the most damaged women, the fucking trainwrecks, and try to fix them up. Because you think that if you fix them, then they’ll stay and love you. Only it doesn’t work that way, man. They get better and leave, right? That’s what you told me.” I nod and crack my neck, uncomfortable with this conversation. “So they leave, and it reinforces the fucking pattern you’ve lived your whole life, starting with your mom.”
I sigh, backing up to sit on the desk. “When I meet them, they’re not fucking trainwrecks, Colt.”
Colt’s eyes are too knowing. “They’re fuck-ups when you meet them, Kade. You just never seem to notice. You don’t want to notice.”
Christ. If I wanted to see a shrink, I have enough fucking money to hire one. “Where’d you get your fucking psychology degree, man?”
“At the U,” he says, “Masters Thesis is almost done.”
I laugh but shoot to my feet as I get a clear look at his face. “You’re fucking kidding, right?”
Colt shakes his head. “Nope.”
Who is this guy?
He’s the head of security for Brash Corp. He’s covered head to toe in tattoos, and I know for a fact he’s still hitting the illegal cage fights across the tracks. And now this?
“Who the fuck are you, man? Why the fuck are you getting a degree, and why wouldn’t you tell us?”
He shrugs, smiling a bit. “We’re all fucked up, man. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to figure out why, and what to do about it.” He taps his temple with two fingers. “You don’t even want to know the shit I have going on. It’s all kinds of crazy up here.”
I laugh in disbelief. “Crazy? You supposed to be using that word?”
He snorts and drops his hand. “Most of the professors have no idea what to do with a meathead like me. They tried to run me off at first. Fuckers didn’t know who they were dealing with. I’m a fucking burr, man. They might not like the word crazy, but sometimes it just fits, ya know?”
I nod dumbly.
“Kade, I really do know what I’m talking about.”
I study him. He looks so serious. I’ve never really seen that look on his face outside of work. I finally nod and his dark eyebrows relax slightly.
