Page 40 of Kade
I sob, remembering him curled on the bathroom floor, a shadow of the strong Daddy I always knew him to be. “He was so tired, Holly. So I brought him home, and I took care of him until the end.”
Her hand is rubbing my knee, and I focus on that soothing touch as I get my breathing under control. “And then…” she prompts softly.
I sigh and rest my head on the back of the couch. “I tried to make things work for a while. The Dojo was limping along, some of the older students taking over a few classes. But I just couldn’t be there anymore. The whole town was filled with memories. I wanted to drive down the street and not be hit by them everywhere I looked. And my friends, well, they couldn’t handle my sadness. They didn’t know what to say, how to act, and they just,” I wiggled my fingers, ”drifted away.”
I rub my cheek remembering the way my friends would wince and look guilty when I saw them in town. “So I sold the house. And closed down the Dojo. I had just enough to pay off his medical bills and my overdue credit card accounts.”
There was so much debt. The collection calls were giving me a fucking ulcer. In hindsight, it would have been smarter to keep at least one credit card. But nope, I had to go and shut them all. “Then I packed up everything I could fit in my piece of shit car and left.” I shrug. “And here I am.”
We sit for a while, comfortable in the silence, until Holly breaks it.
“You’re so brave.”
I snort, feeling like a coward. “I ran Holly. That’s not brave.”
Her hand grips my arm, and I shift to look at her grave face. “That’s not what you tell us in class, Becca.” I flush. That’s true. Avoiding a fight, getting away, is the smartest thing you can do to stay safe. “Sometimes running is the bravest thing you can do,” she finishes softly. I see she means it. And that she knows exactly what she’s talking about.
“You ran too,” I breathe. It’s not a question, and I don’t mean she ran from memories. She knows that.
“Yeah, I did. It took me longer than I wish it had, but I got away.” I lean toward her, gripping her hand.
“Are you safe now?” She shrugs, the acceptance on her face killing me.
“I’m safe for now. That’s as good as it’s going to get for me.” I want to tell her she’s wrong. That she can be completely safe. But I can’t argue with the certainty on her face. I reach out and take her hand.
“Make me a promise, Holly.” She studies me, and I sit silent and patient under her gaze. She nods finally, and I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Promise me that if you’re no longer safe, you’ll let me know.” She breaks eye contact and stares over my shoulder for what feels like years before finally nodding. I squeeze her hand. “Thank you.”
I grab us another beer, and over the next hour, we slide into a deeper friendship. Maybe deeper than I ever have before. There’s something about sharing the darkest part of yourself with someone, knowing that they’ve stood in the darkness too, that lets you skip past the superficial and dive into a genuine friendship.
“You kiddin’ me!” I exclaim. “You should report his dis…disgu…gross ass, Holly. He sounds like a piece of sheeeet.” I’m past tipsy, heading all the way to karaoke drunk, so it comes out louder than I realize.
Holly blows a raspberry in agreement and ends up spitting down her shirt, making me giggle, snort, and spill my beer, which then makes her giggle-snort.
Soon we’re in a giggle-snort spiral, leaning against each other, shaking, crying, laughing. I haven’t laughed this much in forever. I sigh, then sit up quickly, tipping Holly onto the floor, making her snort some more. I reach down and pull her back on the couch, patting her down to put everything back into place. She slaps my hands away from her boobs, and I laugh again
“Sorry!” My head feels fuzzy, but I had a great… “You should quit your shitty job and work here!” I exclaim. It’s perfect! I’m the most genius of all the genius people in the world. Holly slid down the couch, her chin resting on her chest.
“Huh?” She asks with one eye open.
“It’s such a good idea, Holly. I’m so smart,” I tell her earnestly. “I can’t find any smart people to take my job here. You’d do so good! You’re smart. And pretty. And smart.” I nod. I keep nodding till the bobbing of my head makes me feel like I’m going to puke. I grab it to hold it steady.
“What do I have to do for the work?” Holly slurs.
I put my finger in her face. “You have to do the papers, then order the thingys and then take the money. K?”
Holly nods, “K.”
Good. That’s settled. I tip over till my head rests on hers, and we sink into sleep.
It takesa little more convincing in the morning, but by the time lunch rolls around the next day, I have Holly convinced to come work at Brash. She’s not going to give her piece of shit boss any notice—the creeper doesn’t deserve any. And in the clear light of day, my idea is still genius. Holly will be perfect for the job.
20
BECCA
Iwave frantically at Holly through the office window. She’s going to be so great here. Her smile is nervous as she pulls open the door. I can’t contain a little squeal.
“I’m so glad you’re here. This is going to be so great!” It really is. I can feel it. Holly needs this place. I’ve warned all the guys to be on their best behavior. She’s skittish, and I don’t want them giving her any reason to leave.
