Page 55 of Micah
My face reddens, and I open my mouth to brush off his question, spilling my guts instead. “I had to learn how to have an orgasm. And Becca bought me a bunch of toys and I tried most of them, except some of them freaked me out. And I finally did it. But I had to practice. A lot.”
Micah’s frozen, except for his chest, heaving with his rapid breaths. His eyes are peeled open in surprise, locked on my face.
I stutter out the next part. “My new homework is to…touch you. I was hoping we could do that tonight.”
I didn’t think his eyes could get any bigger, but they do. I watch him swallow, then swallow again. He starts and stops a few sentences, then slowly raises his hands. “What exactly do you want us to do? I need you to lay it out, so I don’t do anything wrong.”
This. This is exactly why I know he’s the right man. His thoughts are always on me, and my comfort. But tonight, I want to take us both out of this friend zone we’ve built together.
“I want you…” I study the condo, finally settling on the plush rug in front of the fireplace. “On the rug, there. And…um…take off your shirt, please. I’d like to touch you.”
He stands so quickly I pull backwards in surprise. He’s moving to the rug and reaching back to pull his shirt over his head in the same motion. Chucking his shirt across the room, not caring where it lands, he stands, panting, waiting for my next move.
I swallow thickly, taking a minute to get myself under control. My nerves are off the charts right now, but they’re mixing with a rising heat. Because Micah is…God, he’s stunning. I’ve seen him shirtless, and always admired the view, but this is really different.
The glimpses of him I’ve had the last three weeks have been casual, pulling off a sweaty shirt on the way to his bedroom. Or my favorite, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe his face. But this? The inferno in his eyes when he looks at me? The way he’s holding himself back, waiting breathlessly for my next order? It’s heady being the one in control. I could get addicted.
I circle the coffee table carefully, moving to stand in front of him. His body is frozen, waiting for my command, but his eyes are tracking every move I make.
I wonder if I should blindfold him. I don’t think I’m into that kind of thing, but I’m feeling really self-conscious and wish he wasn’t looking at me. But I also love the clear heat and affection on his face. It makes me feel taller somehow.
So maybe, no blindfold.
Dropping to my knees, I look up his long legs, past the bulge at his groin to his face, as a low groan comes from deep in his chest. “Sit. Please,” I say, patting the rug next to me. I keep my eyes averted from the tent in his sweats, not quite ready to go there. But it’s not aneveranymore, more of anot right now.I think that’s pretty good progress.
He drops to his knees, sitting back on his heels, making no move to lie back. “Do…do you not want to do this?”
“No,” he shouts. “I’m just freaking the fuck out. Just give me a second.”
Tears welling, I tuck my hands between my knees. Of course he’s freaking out. This was a stupid idea. Why did I think I should put him through this?
“Hey…no,” he murmurs, leaning towards me. “What’s happening?
“This is not fair to you, Micah.” I say, swallowing back my tears. “You deserve to be with someone normal. Someone without all my baggage. This was a mistake. I’m so sorry.” I move to stand, but Micah grabs my hands, holding me in place.
“Don’t…go.” He tightens his hands on mine, the crease between his eyes deep. “Please.”
I want to get up and go, but doing that to Micah would be like putting headphones on in the middle of an argument with any other person. It’s not fair. He’s been so wonderful, I owe it to him to stay and listen. Then, I’ll crawl into bed and fall apart. I let myself settle back, focusing on the middle of his chest.
“What the fuck is normal, Holly? Who exactly do you think I should be with?”
“I told you, someone without any baggage. Someone who’s been in a normal relationship. A woman who won’t freeze up at the idea of having sex with you.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
My eyes snap to his face. “Stupid? That is the-“
“Stop,” he says forcefully, slapping his chest. “My…turn.” Scowling, he signs “Do you really not see it?”
“See what?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You believe in God,Holly. How can you not believe that we’re meant to be?”I drop my arms, drawn in by the intensity of his gaze.
“Do you know how many women I’ve been in a relationship with? None. I had plenty of fun. I was never without sex if I wanted it. But not one of those women ever made me want more. Then you walked into my garage and I felt like I’d been hit by a fucking thunderbolt. I felt fucking alive. Something about you just drew me right in.”He runs his hands through his short hair, taking a few long breaths.
“I never believed in God. I’ve seen too much shit in my life. But that day Holly, I believed. Ask me why.”His eyes are fiery, trapping me with their intensity.
Clearing my throat, I ask quietly, “Why?”
