Page 11 of Micah
“You…deserve?” I ask, arching my brow.
He snorts, rubbing a hand over his face. “Nah. I don’t deserve her. She’s way too good for me. But she chose me, so everyday I wake up and try to be the man she deserves. It’s work, brother. But the best fucking work I’ve ever done.” He stops to wiggle his eyebrows. “Trust me, really fucking great work. I mean, first class.”
Laughing with him, the possibility that he might be right settles in me, makes me…well not hopeful, but less pessimistic. Maybe I’m not the monster I thought I was, but she’s still a wounded bird.
“Kade,” I say to draw his eyes back to me. “She’s still broken. She’s been so hurt by that bastard. She might never be able to…”I drop my hands, unable to finish that thought. Never be able to love me. To let someone love her.
His jaw clenches and releases, making the muscles in his cheek pop. “I know, man. You’re right. She might not. But that doesn’t stop you from being her fucking friend.” His eyes are locked on mine so firmly I can’t look away. “You know how to do that. Just be you.”
I drop back to the couch and lean back, contemplating the ceiling. Can I do that? Be her friend? In the deepest part of the night, when I’m most honest with myself, I know my feelings don’t have much to do with friendship. This fucking obsession with a woman is unfamiliar territory for me. Maybe I’ll always be too much for her to ever be her boyfriend. But maybe she’ll let me be her friend, let me bear some of her burden.
“Micah,” Kade says. I roll my head towards him, giving him my full attention. “I still don’t like that Brent's breathing, man. But it’s not my fucking place to make that decision. He’s hurt Holly the most, and since she’s yours…I’ll leave you to handle him.” I don’t bother denying it. Even if she walked away from me tomorrow, she’d somehow always be mine.
“Agreed” I say. I’ll handle it. With pleasure.
“Ok, good talk!” He says, rising from the couch. “I gotta go wrestle around with my girl now. Be good. Come up with a good fucking apology. You can practice it on me tomorrow.” He calls over his shoulder.
I raise my middle finger to his retreating back. “Fuck…You.” His manic laugh echoes through the room until the door closes softly behind him. Those soft close doors really ruin his dramatic exits.
I’ll never admit it to him, but maybe Kade has a point. Because I can’t fucking find the right words to apologize to Holly with. Somehow,I’m sorry I was wearing my mean face around you, I'll put it away. Doesn’t cut it. But do I really want to just…lay it all out there? Tell her exactly how I feel about her? No fucking way. If she wasn’t planning to run before, guaranteed she’ll run after that.
No, my smartest option seems to be telling her part of it. That I hate that she was hurt, and I’ve let my anger at Brent show on my face. And maybe that I think she’s absolutely perfect in every way. Or maybe not. Fuck, will that scare her away?
I’m going out of my Goddamn mind. I need to work this out in the gym. I pull out my phone and hit up our family text. As usual, the replies come fast and furious. We may ignore other texts, but never the family chat.
Me:Hitting the gym. Anyone coming?
Declan:Gaming man. Can’t
Colt:Going out soon.
Jonas:Be there soon. Just finishing up a puzzle.
Ransom:Early business dinner.
Colt:Puzzle - You fuckin promised!!!! You finished without me asshole?
Declan:Where you eating Ran?
Mavrick:I’ll be down in 10
Zach:Colt he’s doing the dogs playing poker one. Not the windmill dude. Chill.
Kade:Busy with my ladaaaayyyyy!
Nick:Fuck off Kade. Heading down now Micah.
Ransom:Castillos
Declan:Bring me Enchiladas. Please!
Ransom:Order it your fucking self.
Declan:Fine. Be that way. I’ll hit up Gino’s later and U can’t have any!
Nick:Spicy Sausage Man.
Jonas:You should make a healthier choice, Declan. Try a salad.
