Page 65 of Next Level Up
Like I’m disappointing them. Like the second I let my walls drop, I stopped being good enough. I feel like I need to prove that I’m still good enough that I didn’t get lucky, that I belong here.
I stand up fast, too fast. The room tilts, before I can spiral further, I hear footsteps. The bedroom door creaks open, I don’t look up.
The first words out of his mouth are soft. “Shower?”
I nod at Carter, my eyes burning. “I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I shouldn’t have rage-quit. That was so unprofessional.”
His hand finds mine, leading me to the bathroom. “You’re human. You get to have limits.”
“I don’t want to ruin this.”
“You won’t, I’ve got you,” he says as he presses a kiss to the crown of my head. My forehead rests against his collarbone, and for a long moment, I just let myself exist in the circle of his arms. There’s nothing performative here. Just skin and breath and the weight of him holding me together.
His thumbs stroke my waist. His lips trail slowly down to my temple. “I hate seeing you like that,” he whispers. “I know you can handle it but I wish you didn’t have to.”
I exhale a soft laugh. “You and Tate always say the quiet part out loud.”
“That’s because I’d rather say it than watch it eat you alive.”
The bathroom door opens. My chest tightens before I can even catch it. My hands tremble, breath stuttering in quick, shallow bursts. “Tate…” I rasp, voice breaking. “I… can’t…”
His hand is on mine before I even realize I’m reaching for it. “Hey. Look at me,” he says. “Breathe with me. One… two… three…”
I try to follow, but my lungs feel too small. He doesn’t push, just holds my gaze, letting me anchor onto him, letting me hear the calm in his tone.
“You’re okay,” he says again, thumb rubbing the back of my hand. “I’m here, Carter’s here. You’re not alone. None of this can touch you while I’m right here.”
My body shakes, and I press my forehead against his shoulder, muffling a cry. “I feel… I feel like I can’t…”
“You can,” he whispers, fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from my face. “You’ve got me. Right here. You’re strong enough to ride this out. I won’t let go.”
He guides me to a slow rhythm until I feel my breaths start to lengthen. The panic is still there, edges jagged, but I can manage it because he is the center of it, because he’s solid.
I take a shaky breath, letting the tension in my shoulders ease just a fraction. The sound of clothing hitting the tile follows. Tate slides behind me first, guiding me toward the shower.
Carter moves to the other side, and suddenly I’m caught between two sets of hands, two bodies pressing against mine, two very different energies surrounding me.
I let my fingers trail over the edge of the curtain, Tate’s chest presses against my back, Carter’s in front, and I can’t stop the shiver that runs through me. The soft hiss of running water starts suddenly, steam curls around us, and the sound of it hitting the shower floor is almost hypnotic.
“You gonna tell me what really set you off, pretty girl?” Tate murmurs, dragging his hands up my sides firm, pinning me between them.
“I just…” My throat tightens. “Everything felt too loud.”
“Then let me give you something else to focus on.”
Carter’s hands slide to my waist as he kisses my cheek. “Let us take care of you,” he whispers.
Tate’s mouth brushes against my neck while his hand slips between my thighs. “You don’t have to think,” he groans. “Just feel.” His mouth is at my neck before I can catch my breath. “You don’t even need to talk.”
His lips continue to drag along the edge of my jaw, hot and unrelenting, while Carter tilts my chin with one hand, kissing me like I’m made of breakable things.
My body jolts when Tate’ s fingers slide down. He parts me with two fingers, dragging them through my pussy.
“Fuck, did the stream piss you off this much? Or is this just for us?”
My answer is a whimper.
He slips one finger inside me and then another—slow at first, then faster, curling just right. I shudder between them, my legs wobbling. Carter’s hands grip my hips tighter to keep me steady, his breath trembling against my forehead.
