Page 82 of Next Level Up
I stare at him for a second. Then sigh, sit up a little straighter. “You think I posted that forthem?.”
Carter remains quiet.
I nod toward my phone. “That wasn’t about the likes, or the edits. Or the fucking chaos. That was abouther.” I tap the screen. “I posted it so Dylan sees it. Soeveryonesees it. So she knows she doesn’t have to hide anymore.”
Carter swallows hard.
“And as for you?” I add, quieter now. “You think she doesn’t look at you like you soften her goddamn world?”
His throat works around something that I know would piss me off. I shake my head. “We’re different. We always have been. But it’s not a competition, it’s never been a competition.”
Haven might orbit both of us in her own quiet way, but Carter’s the one who softens her edges. The one she looks at like the world isn’t constantly trying to claw pieces off her.
I’ve been watching his back longer than either of them probably realizes. That’s just how it’s always been, me a step ahead, making sure nothing gets close enough to knock him down before he’s ready for it.
Some things you don’t compete over. Some things you just protect.
“I mean it when I say you’re the only one shemeltsfor.”
The tension bleeds off his shoulders. He blows out a breath and leans back in the chair, a sheepish smile tugging at his mouth. “You’re still an asshole.”
“Obviously.”
“…Thanks though.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
Cassie’s loud but her boyfriend James islouder and I’m at my limit. I can feel the pressure building behind my eyes.
There’s music on in the background and the scent of takeout boxes starting to make everything smellsticky-sweet and friedthat makes my head throb.
I’m on the edge of the couch with Carter sitting cross-legged on the floor, making Cassie laugh with some story about nearly falling off the stage when he opened for a tiny local band back in high school. Haven’s curled up next to her with her legs tucked under, her expression soft and bright andso fucking radiantthat it almost hurts to look at her.
Sometimes it does.
But the walls are closing in. Too much and too loud with too many people breathing my air. I stand up quietly.
I grab my hoodie from the hook by the door and slip out, tugging the zipper up, the cool night air slicing into my overheated brain like a reset button. The second the door clicks shut behind me, I breathe deep.
I walk around the block, slow and aimless, letting the silence fill my ears until I don’t feel like I’m about to climb out of them. When I make it back within a few minutes I can see Havenstanding by her car, her eyes scanning around before meeting mine.
“Hiding?”
“You’re barefoot,” I deadpan.
She doesn’t even glance down at her feet as she shrugs and walks up closer. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I just needed air.”
“You always do that when things get too warm.”
“Better than blowing up at everyone.”
She nods, then looks up at me. “You want to go back inside?”
My gaze drops to her lips. “Eventually.”
She opens her mouth, probably to tease me. I back her against her car while my hands slam to the sides of her waist, holding her in place, my hips pressing against hers. Her breath stutters against my throat.
