Page 5 of Monster Made
“Shut up, Liam. Quill, listen to me.”
Dane’s clear, calm voice brings me back to reality.
“You’re hurting her.”
I am. The sudden realization of what I’ve been doing is like a gut punch, and I let her go. She falls to the ground, gasping loudly.
“Screw you!” she squeaks out as soon as she’s gained her incredibly annoying voice back. “I didn’t do anything to you! You freaking psychopath! Haven’t you already hurt me enough?”
Yes, I have. I hurt her. I crossed the line last night, and hurt her. And now, instead of apologizing, I’ve nearly killed her.
I have no right to be anywhere near her. I have no right to beanywhere. I should go home and lock the door and never leave my room again.
But that would mean not seeing her, and that feels even more intolerable than… well, seeing her.
So instead I stand still, watching her wheezing for breath and gagging on all fours. At last she musters up the strength to stand up, and then, she shoves my chest as hard as she can with both of her hands.
“I hate you,” she screams. “I hate you!”
I grab her left wrist, and she stops talking at once, her anger melting, replaced by actual fear.
I terrorize this girl.
Usually, that knowledge makes me weirdly hard. But right now, the only thing I’m feeling is guilt. All-consuming guilt.
I have no idea how to handle that guilt. I’m at a loss. I’ve gotten a lot better at speaking in high school, but right now, under the weight of my emotions, all I can do is stare at her. And yet she flits her eyes down, as though my stare frightens her far more than the rest.
“I’m sorry, Quill,” she stammers.
Why the hell is she apologizing? She hasn’t done a thing. I’m the one who’s a monster.
“I’m sorry. Please let me go.”
And, at last, I do.
_
“What the hell, man? That was awesome!”
“Liam.”
“I mean… it was cool. It was fine. Obviously, you would never have actually, well, killed her. It’s just that…”
“Liam!”
Dane has always understood me far better than Liam. I’m aware they’re both scared of me, just like everyone else is. But whereas Liam has dealt with that fear by turning into a yes man, Dane seems to have a bit more sense. Especially where Piper is concerned. I have patience for just about anything except hearing her name in another person’s mouth. That’s enough to turn me homicidal.
“Where is she?” I growl.
We’ve just walked into history class, and my eyes scan the room for her. She’s not in her usual seat, and disappointment mingles with anger and anxiety, as I wonder if I’m the reason for her absence. And as I realize it means I’m going to have to spend one full hour without her.
What a fucking psycho I am.
“Where is she?” I insist, my voice hard.
“She…” Dane licks his lips nervously. He must realize that talking about Piper, even when it’s in direct answer to a question, is risky. “She went home.”
“Why?”
