Page 25 of Road Trip to the Riviera
‘And you know, we had planned to wait a bit, but when this kind of opportunity comes up… Weddings cost thousands, so…’
‘Oh, Louis. I could pay. I’d like to pay. Why didn’t you…’
‘It’s just that she offered.’
I should have offered, I realise. When they called to announce their engagement, I should have thought. ‘Still. She could have suggested next year?’ I say, a little petulantly.
‘I said that, too. But she said she wasn’t getting any younger. I really think she’d like to see us marry before she… goes.’
Vivian can only be in her late sixties now, and – as far as I’m aware – is as healthy as an ox. I can hardly imagine her playing the frail grandma card. But she obviously has Louis convinced.
‘I’m pretty sure she’ll be around.’
‘Anyway, that’s not the point. It’s all arranged. And I’m sure it’ll be fine. I just… I suppose I want to feel sure.’
‘But why would she think I’d try to talk you out of it?’ I’ve made peace with Vivian over the years, and until this moment I thought she felt I was a pretty stand-up sort of guy, so this smarts. ‘Why would I do that?’
‘I don’t know, Dad, maybe just being protective? Maybe because you’re not…’
‘Not what?’
‘Not the sort of person who… well… steps up.’
There’s a silence while his words sink in and I try to figure out what the strange tingling feeling in my torso is. I’m not angry, I don’t think. Maybe hurt. Because Louis isn’t saying those words in malice. He’s saying them simply, as if they’re just acknowledged, undeniable fact.
‘I do step up!’ I come out with finally. ‘I… I’ve always been there for you, haven’t I?’
‘Yeah. Sure. Of course. I didn’t mean anything by it. Just when Mum got pregnant, you guys broke up, right? You didn’t try to make a go of it.’
‘I… but I was… I mean we were?—’
‘Sure. I get it. Sorry if you’re upset, Dad. I just meant you didn’t marry her, or try to make a home with her. Or give it a go. And I think Vivian blames you a bit for everything Mum went through. That’s all.’
That’s ALL?
‘Oh. Right.’
‘She likes you, though,’ Louis adds.
‘That’s great.’ I remember that Louis is my son and has asked me for advice and try to ‘step up’, which obviously is not something I’m used to doing. ‘Look, Louis. You love Summer, right?’
‘Well, yeah, of course.’
‘And you proposed to her, so you must have been pretty sure about marriage when you did that?’
‘Yeah.’ He sounds a bit uncertain, but I power on.
‘So maybe this is just cold feet. You’re right, I’ve never been married. But I do know a thing or two about marriage, and life.’ Mainly from TV dramas, but they count, don’t they? ‘And I know that a lot of blokes – women too – get cold feet just before a wedding. Maybe it’s just that?’
There’s a pause, then, ‘Yeah, you’re probably right.’ And something of what I said appears to have worked as his tone seems to have lightened. ‘How’s Mum?’ he asks, changing the subject.
‘Yeah, she’s OK. Her leg hurts her a bit more than she’ll admit. But she’s doing OK.’
‘Good.’ There’s a pause. ‘Look after her, won’t you, Dad?’
I bristle a little at the fact Louis seems to think he needs to tell me to do this. But I try to remember that he’s close to his mum and is just being protective. ‘Of course,’ I say. ‘And you know, Louis, if you are having serious doubts, you don’t have to go through with it. It’s a huge commitment and you’re so young.’
‘No,’ he says, his voice quiet now as if someone is listening. ‘No, I’m good.’
