Page 81 of Road Trip to the Riviera
‘Language, Hal!’
I don’t point out the hypocrisy, but instead say, ‘Sorry, Vivian. But sometimes there isn’t any other word for it.’
She grins – I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her grin before. Gives me a little jab between the ribs that I think is meant to be playful, but actually hurts enough to make me gasp. ‘Ha ha,’ I manage to splutter.
‘Well, I don’t know anything about a date. But Sarah’s mentioned Peter a few times to me this break and it’s pretty clear there’s nothing there. Oh, she likes him well enough. But as a work colleague, I can assure you…’
‘Well, perhaps she’s only seen him as a work partner. But for someone to send a chauffeured Mercedes a thousand miles to pick someone up and bring them home… not just being generous, but anticipating their needs… That’s not the action of a business partner. That’s an act of love.’
Vivian looks thoughtful. ‘I’m glad you see it that way.’
‘Sorry?’ I am now, if it’s possible, even more confused.
‘It wasn’t Peter who ordered the car. It was me!’ she tells me.
‘You?’
‘Yes. I couldn’t bear for Sarah to schlep from train to train with that gammy leg of hers, not after she admitted she was at hospital recently,’ she says. She gives me a sideways glance. ‘Something I feel I should have been informed of,’ she adds.
‘It was you?’
‘Yes. Do keep up, Hal. I realise I haven’t been the most… attentive of mothers. But the idea of her hobbling along… it was driving me mad. Then I wondered – how much would a taxi cost? I did a bit of Googling and well, perhaps I went a bit overboard. But…’
‘So it wasn’t Peter.’
She stops, meets my eye. ‘No, Hal. It was me.’
‘And Sarah’s not dating anyone?’
‘Certainly not anyone serious enough to tellmeabout. Or Louis for that matter.’
I open my mouth to let out another expletive but think better of it. Instead, I put my hands over my face and give a groan.
‘What on earth is the matter, dear?’
‘I’m an idiot.’
‘Hal,’ she says, her face serious. ‘We’re all idiots sometimes… admittedly some more than others. But still, to err is human and all that.’
‘Yes, but I had the chance and…’
‘And what?’
‘I was going to tell Sarah how I feel. But I stepped aside. I let the better man win. Only there isn’t a better man. There isn’t even anyone else at all. There’s just me and my stupid imagination and my ridiculous ideas of gallantry. And now she’s gone and I’ve left it all too late, as usual.’
It has taken me twenty-two years to work out that I love Sarah. Not the Sarah I thought she was – the one I’d have logistical conversations with about childcare, and face recriminations from when I was late or let Louis down in any way. But the woman I’d been with before; the one I’d spent proper time with, laughed with, fallen for. I’d forgotten she existed, yet she was there all along.
And I had a chance to tell her all that, and blew it over something I’d made up in my head.
‘Oh, Hal.’ Vivian shakes her head. ‘Are you really going to give up as easily as that?’
35
SARAH
I sit back in the plush leather seat and watch the slightly muted view through the tinted window. The driver is silent, the radio is playing softly and the ride is smooth despite the odd bump in the road. Being in a modern car, let alone a brand-new Mercedes, seems ridiculously luxurious after Betty, although I can’t imagine ever feeling any sort of affection for a car like this. Have I just admitted to myself that I love a camper-van? Perhaps there’s some sort of medication I can take…
I’ve belted myself in, but shuffled to one side so that I can raise my leg up on the seat. It’s habit now more than anything. My leg is giving me very little trouble other than the odd ache, and I’m barely taking any of the painkillers I’d stocked up on before setting off. I’m hopeful that in a couple of weeks I can finally rid myself of the boot and be back on my feet in every sense of the word.
