Page 36 of A Shot at Love
Frankie had thought about it of course, if Jules was attracted to women, and selfishly she’d hoped that she was because maybe it meant Frankie wasn’t crazy to believe there was a connection between them that extended beyond friendship. Knowing Jules dated women didn’t mean she’d feel anything romantically for Frankie whatsoever and if that were true, Frankie was more than happy and just as lucky to have Jules in her orbit in any capacity.
But…the way her heart skipped a beat when Jules turned up the volume on the playlist she’d made for Frankie, the sweet melody of her voice as she sang along to the songs she clearly knew by heart, had Frankie feeling that buzz again. A tingle of electricity in her body that seemed to tether them together.
“I like this one a lot,” Frankie said, referring to the acoustic driven indie pop tune filling the cabin of her SUV.
Jules closed her eyes and hummed. “It’s one of my favourites too. A number one hit in my shower.”
The very tempting image of Jules in the shower was one Frankie did not allow herself to linger on because if she did, there was a high chance she’d run them off the road and absolutely ruin the wonderful Christmas they’d shared together so far.
When Frankie had awoken earlier that morning, she didn’t feel the same kind of sadness she often felt on Christmas morning. Knowing she was going to see Jules and spend another day with her was better than any gift she could find beneath her tree.
Her phone rang while she’d been making herself a cup of coffee and given it was afternoon in Sweden now, she appreciated Sydney waiting until morning in Halifax to call.
“Merry Christmas, Syd,” she cheerfully said after accepting the call.
“God Julto you too my lovely and beautiful best friend,” Sydney replied. “God Jul is Merry Christmas in Swedish by the way. I’ve been crushing it on DuoLingo.”
“And I am so proud of you for that.”
“So…any big plans on the east coast? Any good movies to go see?”
Sydney knew Frankie’s family history, knew that she spent most holidays alone, and had always been able to make light of the situation with a joke or friendly reassurance. But this year was different. This year, Frankie wasn’t alone.
“I’m actually spending the day with Jules….” Frankie admitted, letting the confession hang in the dead space on the phone but it made her smile, knowing that in an hour she’d be meeting Jules outside by her car.
She hadn’t told Jules where they were going when they’d said goodnight at Frankie’s front door nine hours earlier, long after finishing their bottle of wine and cleaning their plates, after they’d each won a few games of Yahtzee and filledthe living room with more laughter and joy than Frankie thought possible. All she’d told her was to dig out her skates, be ready for ten am, and to meet her outside.
”Well, well, wellllllll, aren’t you just full of surprises lately.”
The teasing smile that Frankie knew she’d find on Sydney’s face somehow came through on the phone and she rolled her eyes.
“It’s no big deal, we’re just —”
“Two good friends spending Christmas together? And one of these friends happens to have a big fat lesbian crush on the other one? Oh yeah, not a big deal at all.”
“Syd…” She carried her coffee to the couch and sat down where Jules had spent most of the previous evening. Outside, the weather looked classically Canadian for a winter day and flurries fell from the gloomy grey sky. A white Christmas was a pretty great gift and perfect for what she had planned later that day. “We’re friends and I’m letting myself enjoy it because I almost screwed it up.”
“What, did you confess your undying love to her or something? Ask her if she wants to see the keys to your Uhaul?” Sydney joked.
“No, asshole. Nothing like that. I just…” She sighed and watched the crema on the surface of her espresso dissolve. “I got scared and it’s stupid. I took your advice and allowed myself to get closer to her but then I panicked because I started to gettooclose and I didn’t want to ruin it.”
“How could you ruin it before anything even happened?”
Frankie could think of plenty of ways in which she could ruin it. She hadn’t always been the committed type unless it came to her work and building a relationship, something real that started from the ground up, growing from a friendship that actually mattered…it was foreign to her.
Sensing Frankie’s apprehension, Sydney sighed and laughed a little bit. “Listen to me, I honestly think that the best thing for you to do is to just let whatever happens happen. Just have fun, forget about whatever comes next, forget about what anyone else might think. You’re young, you’re hot, and you aren’t doing anything illegal. Just roll with it.”
“Easier said than done,” Frankie mumbled in reply. “But you’re right.”
“I always am.”
Frankie glanced at her small tree in the corner of the room with its lights still glowing because she didn’t turn them off the night before. “Thanks, Syd,” she said, smiling at the little tree that had brought her apartments over the past few years so much joy. She’d refused to part with it anytime she moved. “I miss you and I hope you enjoy your Christmas.”
“I miss you too, Frank. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do today but just so you know, I plan on kissing a pretty Swedish girl under some mistletoe at a party tonight if you need any inspiration.”
There was no mistletoe where she was taking Jules but it sure was a nice thought.
When Frankie turned off the main road to drive down a less maintained side road, the uneven surface more pronounced because of the packed down snow and ice, she noticed Jules shifting in her seat with a nervous energy that was unfamiliar to Frankie.
