Page 152 of Shelter
I moved to the door — just as I heard a click. I froze, expecting Elise to open the door and let me in. But after a long moment it hit me.
She wasn’t opening the door. She was locking it.
What the fuck?!
My jaw set. I’d never been angry with Elise — not in my whole life — but I was angry now. I inhaled a slow breath and willed myself to calm down.
I raised my fist, knocked gently three times, and waited. Nothing.
Lowering my voice, I lean toward the doorsill. “Baby, would you just please talk to me? I don’t understand what’s going on.”
A sound, faint and muffled, came through the door. I leaned closer, pressing my ear right to the sill. And I heard sobbing.
Elise was crying.
My anger drained right out of me. But a desperate urgency took its place. “Elise, baby, open the door,” I pleaded. “I can hear you’re upset.”
A few stifled squeaks and then the sound of sniffling. I heard movement, and I knew she’d approached the door.
“Cole, I’m s-sorry.” She spoke low, her voice hoarse, her words for me only. “I didn’t want it to be like this. I t-tried, but I j-just can’t.”
“Tried what? What can’t you do?” Be with me? Trust me?
“Just take Ava h-home, we’ll talk t-tomorrow, okay?” she squeaked.
Tomorrow? Oh, hell, no.
“Elise. Open. The. Damn. Door.”
If she made us wait until tomorrow, I knew — I knew in my gut — I’d lose her. And not for years, but for good. For the second time in my life, I stood in front of a locked door I’d do damn near anything to get through. Only this time, I knew without a doubt the person who needed saving was me.
“She thinks it’s over between you.”
At the sound of Ava’s voice, I spun around. She stood in the hall beside Flora, watching me with a deadened expression. Her eyes held no spark, no light. They were bloodshot, her nose raw and red.
Staring back at her, I ignored my anger. My sense of betrayal. My disappointment. Those feelings were nothing new, but this terror that seized me, this threat to what I thought Elise and I were building? That was a fresh and menacing danger I couldn’t let out of my sight. If I did, it would surely sack me.
So instead of grilling Ava on her night out, I asked the only question that mattered.
“Why?”
A flicker of surprise moved across her brow. “Because she knows how you are with me.”
I shook my head, grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into the bedroom she’d just left. Flora was fast on our heels.
“No. She only knows how I was.” I couldn’t decide if I wanted to pull Ava in my arms or grab her by the shoulders and shake her, so I let my fists fall to my sides. “Ava, I will give you everything you need to get well. You can spend the rest of your life in rehab if you need to, and I’ll cover it. And as long as you’re clean and sober, you can always live under my roof.”
I watched shock and wonder widen her blue eyes.
“But today is the last day I go chasing you out of bars or searching the streets for your body.”
Somehow, the words made it past the squeezing in my chest, and I swallowed against my thickening throat. “And it’s not because I’m angry, though I am. And it’s not because I hate who we’ve become, though I do.”
Ava pressed her lips together as the first tear spilled onto her cheek.
“I just think it has to be up to you whether or not you kick this thing.” I ground my molars together and cleared my throat before I could continue. “I really hope you do. I’ve loved having you back, Ava. This past week or so has been… beautiful.” The last word came out a whisper because that was all I could manage.
My sister was weeping silently now, but she hadn’t taken her eyes off me. Flora leaned toward her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and Ava turned into her embrace and sobbed with abandon.
