Page 76 of Shelter
And it was at night, curled up with my loneliness — which wasn’t so terribly uncomfortable — that hope would stir. And she would whisper the most inhumane things.
“If you felt it once, you could feel it again.”
Someone. Someone strong and vulnerable. And angry and joyful. And sexy and sad could come into my life, look at me, and see all the things about me no one else saw. Make me feel like I was worth knowing.
“You’re lucky,”Hope would say.“You know what it feels like.You’ll recognize it.You just have to find it again.”
Hope made it seem so easy. What a liar she was.
“I think I’ll go to bed,” I said, scooping up my dinner bowl and getting to my feet.
Alberta shot me a look of disappointed surprise. “What? NoWill & Gracereruns?”
The thought of laughing at Karen and Jack tempted me, but I’d let moodiness settle into my skin, and the best thing to do with that was sketch.
“Nah. Not tonight. I have some ideas I want to put on paper. “ On my drive home, I’d pictured a pewter cuff bracelet I wanted to play around with. The image was fresh enough, and whenever I felt this bruised sense of longing, I wanted nothing better than to get out my sketchpad.
“Hey,” Alberta said, her concerned eyes searching my face. “I hope I didn’t say something to upset you. If you really don’t want to come out with us, I won’t force you.”
A stinger of guilt pierced my chest. Alberta had done nothing wrong. I brushed aside her worries. “I’ll go out. Just don’t call it a date,” I said. “Or a setup.”
Her expression softened. “Fine. It’s not a date. We’ll just go out and have a few drinks. It’ll be fun.”
I nodded once. “Sure.” I didn’t sound too convincing, but I offered her a smile and reminded myself that Saturday was a big night for her. She deserved to celebrate, and I wanted to be with her when she did. “Itwillbe fun.” This time letting my pride and excitement for her fill my voice.
Relief rimmed her eyes. “Okay. I’ll tell Ross.” Then she squealed and clapped her hands. “I’msoexcited!”
Grinning at her giddiness, I told Alberta goodnight before shutting myself in my tiny bedroom. The space was just big enough to fit my bed along one wall and my dresser and desk along the other with a narrow galley between them. Through the thin barrier of my bedroom door, I heard Alberta click on the TV, and studio audience laughter soon followed.
I grabbed my phone and earbuds before settling at my desk. I could sketch with music, no problem. But the sounds of Alberta’s show would break my concentration. I tapped my Spotify app, selected my Chainsmokers playlist, and flipped open my hardbound sketchbook to a clean page. Even though I’d complete a digital rendition later, I always liked to start a new design with paper and colored pencil.
I chose the closest gray to pewter in my set of Prismacolors and framed out the cuff. What I envisioned was a slightly concave outer surface with a brushed finish. Along the top edge, a border of round-cut aquamarine — 6 X 4 millimeters each — would be the only adornment. Sleek. Elegant. Both contemporary and timeless.
The hardest part, I knew, would be convincing Ed my boss to go with the Natural AA grade aquamarine instead of the grayer Natural A. But the medium light blue, like the sea on sunlit day, would stand out against the pewter with just the right luminescence. The gems alone would cost more than two hundred dollars. Ed would probably freak.
But I shoved that fear aside. If I thought that way, some of my best ideas would never have seen the light of day. Ed might balk, but he’d keep going back to the sketches and the resin cast. My pieces were selling. I couldn’t worry about my boss’s opinion until after the design was done.
From my tray of Prismacolors, I chose 1086, Sky Blue Light, the closest match to the frosted blue I envisioned and the shortest pencil in the blue set, and colored in the first stone.
Chapter 17
COLE
I watched Ava’s plane touch down through the wide windows of Lafayette Regional Airport, relieved that the house was finally ready.
Time to start over. Again. Maybe I’d get it right this time.
And so far, so good. In the twenty-eight days since I’d escorted her to Center City, Minnesota, I’d accomplished mission impossible. I’d moved the command center of my engineering firm from the Central Business District in New Orleans to the Oil Center in Lafayette. That had to count for something, right?
At least I could keepsomethingalive.
The NOLA office was still open, of course. The company wouldn’t be worth saving without my West Bank clients, and I wouldn’t have been able to convince even half of my employees to make the move. But I had talked Stefan and Veronica, my two best engineers, into coming with me.
Talkedprobably wasn’t the right word.Bribedwould be more accurate.
Bette, my secretary, had needed little encouragement. Six months had passed since her divorce, and when I’d confided in her four weeks ago about Ava and my plans to relocate, she’d announced herself ready for a change of scenery. I’d given the forty-two-year-old mother of two a handsome raise — one that wasn’t in the company budget — for her loyalty.
As I stood outside the airport’s security checkpoint, waiting for Ava to deplane, I thanked God for Bette. She’d been the one to find the new house while I had negotiated the lease of the new office space.
