Page 20 of You First
“I’m Googling you.”
He flopped back down again. “Oh, you don’t need to do that,” he groaned. Everything she’d find would be headshots and signing appearances — all vetted and approved by his publicist before they were released. In other words, all pictures that looked a hundred times better than he looked in real life — especially now.
Before he’d received his diagnosis, when he was just dealing with the headaches, he’d started to lose weight. The headaches often made him nauseous, and he’d skip meals at a time. Even with meds, his face still looked gaunter than it should. This and the look in his eyes aged him.
His pace to finish his novel hadn’t improved his appearance, either. Most of the time, he wore dark circles.
“Wow,” Meredith said. “Did you know I work for a famous author?”
Gray rolled his eyes. “Just ignore that. It’s all B.S.”
“Yes, clearly. Because everyone else has written three bestselling novels. I mean, I have.”
“She’s funny,” Gray muttered to himself.
“Well, you’re very handsome.” She spoke clinically, like a news anchor, so Gray had to smile even though he felt a rush of embarrassment. “I mean, you’re no Mr. Simmons, but…”
Real laughter shook his chest and belly. “Alas, we can’t all be Mr. Simmons.”
He heard her give an obvious fake sigh. “Such a pity,” she teased. The scrape of a spoon on the bottom of a pan echoed a few times from his kitchen. “This is just about ready. Should I fix you a plate?”
Gray’s stomach jerked again. Did she expect him to come out and eat the meal she’d prepared?
“No, thanks. I’m not ready yet.”
He heard the lid settle over the pan on the stove. “You do know you could get dressed, and I could bring this to you on a tray, right?”
“Uh, no. That’s not going to happen. I’m not that pathetic.”Yet.
“Nothing wrong with having dinner in bed — especially when you feel like crap,” she said.
“Oh really?” Gray goaded. “I bet you haven’t done that since you were a kid.”
She paused.
“Well… maybe… but, dude, if someone offered to fixmedinner and bring it tomein bed, I wouldn’t feel pathetic. I’d feel awesome.”
There was an edge to her voice. Not irritated or impatient. But one that sounded…tired.She was telling the truth. And in that one truth, he heard a dozen others. Meredith Ryan was tired. She needed this job. She might be young, but she still had to take care of herself.
A twinge of guilt made him frown. Gray promised himself then that no matter how embarrassed he was about needing her help, he wouldn’t take it out on her or make her job harder than it needed to be.
“I’ll come make myself a plate in a few minutes. Thank you, Meredith. You can go.”
She seemed to hesitate for a minute. “You sure? You don’t need anything else tonight?”
“I’m sure. But I’ll text you tomorrow with a grocery list, okay?”
“Okay. Great.” She sounded relieved, even excited, and thinking that she’d come back tomorrow, Gray realized he felt the same.
“I’m going to turn off the stove in case you fall asleep, but it should stay warm in the pot for a little while,” she said, and he heard her moving around in the kitchen, putting things away. “If you need anything tonight, don’t hesitate to contact me. I don’t live far.”
Where did she live? What would she do when she got home? He wanted to pose the questions, but he thanked her instead.
“That’s very kind. I think I’ll be okay.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Gray. See you tomorrow.”
Gray knew he couldn’t let himself hide in the bedroom for a third time, so he would, in fact, see her tomorrow. Wouldn’t it be better to talk to her face to face?
