Page 83 of You First
“Are you in your dad’s truck?”
Pause.
“Yes.”
Meredith felt her eyebrows climb her forehead. “Brooke, are youparking?”
Brooke sighed with no shortage of drama. “What else am I supposed to do? Rajan lives in the dorms, and even when my parents are at work, at least two of my sisters are home at all times. Anyway, I just sent him to get us some pizza. Now, why are you going to die?”
She shook her head. “Wait a minute.Whereare you parking?”
“Oh, fine, nosy. We’re on Mildred Street by the UL bus yard. Rajan’s walking to Bisbano’s, so I’ve got a few minutes. Spill.”
So she did. Everything from the seizure to the kissing to the arrival of Gray’s family to the devastating news and more kissing.
“Wow.” Brooke said when she came up for air.
“I know.”
“You remember how I said it sounded like you were dating before?” she asked archly.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I’m a total slut.”
Brooke sucked in a breath. “Bite your tongue! Of course you aren’t.”
“I am if I’m still letting Jamie touch me,” she muttered.
Pause.
“What? Since when?”
Meredith rolled her eyes. She hadn’t meant to keep this from her best friend, exactly, but she never wanted to talk about it. “Since… like… ever.”
“Do you have sex?” Brooke asked, sounding astonished.
Meredith bit her lip. “Sometimes,” she squeaked.
Brooke’s voice went hard. “But you hate him. I mean, you told me he was always trying to get into your pants, but you never said youlet him.”
“Oh my God,” Meredith groaned. “You think I’m a slut.”
“No, sweetie. I’m just confused. Why would you sleep with Jamie if you hate him?”
Meredith felt sick to her stomach. “Because it’s complicated.”
“Do…do youwantto sleep with him?” Brooke sounded slightly disgusted.
“No. Not since senior year before he wanted me to get an abortion.” It was the truth, but nothing about the truth was easy to explain.
“Meredith… does he force you?”
She was quick to answer. “No.” It was true. He never forced. He just never stopped.
“Then what the hell?”
“Brooke, I’m living in his house. I’m sleeping in his bed. I’m eating his food. I’m the mother of his child, and he never lets me forget it. Sometimes I don’t feel like I can say no.”
“Oh, God, Meredith. Jesus! You canalwayssay no.” Brooke was practically shouting.
