Page 108 of Never Look Back
August 30, 1976
2:00A.M.
Dear Aurora Grace,
Things aren’t too bad right now. Jenny and I are living in a place called Brittlebush, Arizona, with a couple called Bill and Mary Grumley who are nice (even though I hate their pet fish). Their sons are pretty annoying, but they’re all terrified to talk to a girl, so they don’t bother me very much at all.
Bill and Mary believe Jenny and I ran off from the Gideon compound because I took Elizabeth’s name. And since they think the Gideons were a bunch of weirdo cult members, they’re taking care of us, feeding us, sending us to school. They’ve even helped us to change our names. Mine will be Renee, which means reborn in French. Jenny’s will be Nicola, after her favorite doll. There’s lots of good food in this house. And Mary lets me have my favorite whenever I want—cinnamon raisin toast, cream cheese, and strawberry jam. My mom used to make it for me. It reminds me of her.
Here’s the thing, though, Aurora Grace. I’m not going to be able to stay here for very long. I’m trying to tell Jennythat she’ll be fine without me. Better off without me, probably, if anyone ever finds out who I really am.
I’ve told one boy who I am, but I’m never going to see him again. And I think he’ll keep my secret. He is sweet and kind and funny and gentle. And he is, after all, your father.
Aurora Grace, you have decided to show up in my life a lot sooner than I thought you would. So here is my plan: Buy a bus ticket to Tucson. Lie about my age. Get a job at the university and do it fast—before I start showing! Use my new name. Make new friends. Start a new life as a new girl. A new woman. I’ve been thinking about going to night school at the university. I’d like to study to be a psychiatrist, but that could always change.
I leave later this morning, my growing daughter. Are you ready for our future? I know I am.
Love,
Mom
