Page 60 of Cessation
“Paxton, I need time to heal. I stated that in the letter. I have to get me right so that when these beautiful babies arrive, I’ll be fit.”
“We can do that together.”
“Maybe afterward, but right now, I just need some me time. I know you’re going to allow me that, especially after how you spoke to me at your mother’s gathering.”
She brought up my comment from Hen’s party and I didn’t blame her. I spoke to her as if I didn’t give a damn about her, when overall, it hurt me to walk away from her that night.
“How far along are you and when is your due date?”
“I’m four months and I’m due in July. I waited to know the sexes because I figured you’d want to be there for that.”
“I ’preciate that. How is this supposed to go though because I’m missing out on moments that we’re supposed to share together?”
“I’ll keep you posted, Paxton. I didn’t plan on keeping them from you.”
I nodded and stood. “Cool. I hope you heal well. I’ll talk to you later.” I proceeded to the front door.
“Paxton.” I turned in her direction acknowledging her. “I’m sorry again. Hopefully, you can forgive me.”
“We’ll see. You work on healing, and I’ll work on forgiving.”
I walked out in need of some fresh air and to get away from her. I restrained myself from taking her down. The glow she possessed did nothing but make her that much more desirable. I promised Hen I would update her when I could, so I was headed for her and Pops.
She always said that when I met the right one, I’d be willing to try any and everything to make it work. Yani wasn’t my wife, fiancé, or girl, but I was willing to make the bullshit between us disappear for these babies. Hen was going to have to give me some damn good advice today.
The drive was about thirty minutes long and it was a quiet one. I didn’t know what or how to take in what Yani said to me. I didn’t think she would push me away even further, especially after how hard she was trying to hold a conversation at the party.
As I pulled up to the crib, my mother was just walking out the door. She looked like she had somewhere to be. I parked and stepped out with her waiting by the steps for me.
“Hey lady. You don’t look a day over forty.”
“Oh hush that fuss. I feel like I’m thirty. What’s up baby boy? To what do I owe the visit?”
“I need my mama to do what mothers do. I went and saw Yani.”
She didn’t say anything as she nodded and smiled with sympathetic eyes. She turned back around and headed inside. She didn’t stop moving until she was in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of wine and me a double shot of bourbon. She must’ve known I had some shit to get off my chest.
“So, what are you two going through now?”
I removed the ultrasound and handed it over. As she examined it, I took in the alcohol. If I didn’t find a distraction soon, I was going to lose my fuckin’ mind. I wanted my family.
“How far —”
“Four months.”
“Does she know wha?—”
“Nope.” I reached for the bottle and quickly poured me up another, throwing it back immediately. I wasn’t trying to cut my mother’s questions short, but I was getting more upset by the second.
“Yani is such a sweet girl. I didn’t know she operated like that.”
“She’s not a bad person Ma. I think she dealt with her feelings the best way she knew how. Right person, wrong timing.”
“You ain’t never lied about that. Sometimes we move quicker than God and then we’re hit with several obstacles before he gives us a smooth ride.”
“And we’re going through muthafuckin’ hurdles Ma. Excuse my language.”
“I believe y’all need time apart so that when it’s time for y’all to come together again, you’ll be able to maneuver as one with no secrets. Regardless of what y’all have going on, y’all now share two beautiful kids. Get it together, Paxton.”
