Page 65 of A Wanderer's Redemption
“Yes, but I can hold it in my lap.”
“Suit yourself, might as well go ahead and climb in, they have seven minutes to join you.”
I start to turn, only to realize I am still holding the jacket. “How much do I owe you?”
“Ah it’s an old one, go ahead and take it … pass it on when you no longer need it.”
“Thank you.” Biting my lip, his small kindness seems to destroy the walls I had built around my heart this morning. I gather my things up and walk out to the open door of the coach, only to find ripped seats and dust everywhere inside. Sighing wearily, I cross over so that I am sitting next to the window. I’ve just placed the light blanket under my butt so that I’ll have some kind of cushion between me and the wood below when an older man and what appears to be his daughter climb back in. The daughter sits on my side, her father across from her, and the door closes behind them.
Oddly enough, they don’t say a word, and I decide that’s just fine; I am not suitable company anyway. The entire coach tilts when the driver climbs up, and with the flick of his wrist, we are pulling out. I catch a glimpse of Zeus in the barn when we roll past, and I close the curtain until we are completely out of town, as I don’t want to take a chance Colby or Deven will see me.
As I pull the small box lunch out, I pick at the biscuit inside, only for it to turn to dirt in my mouth. Nauseated, I pack it all back up and put it back in my bag. My stomach is churning almost as quickly as the wheels on this coach, and I know it’s just my nerves. Now that things have calmed down, I wonder if I should have said something to Reggie about what he said to Grant. I should have made him tell me what awaited me when our trip came to an end. Instead, I stuck my head in the dirtand pretended like the end wasn’t coming closer every day. Now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life wondering about what could have been, questions and things I’ll never know the answers to. But I am glad I heard the words straight from his mouth after all, I’m justa Maid… a person I’m not sure exactly how to go back to being.
The countryside rolls by, and I close my eyes as the coach rocks roughly along the trail, thinking of how quickly my life has once again changed. Reggie is not entirely to blame for my current predicament; I am as much at fault. I knew he was not mine, but I allowed the waking up in his arms, and the taste of his lips to lure me into a falsehood.
When that mountain lion almost got me, I truly thought he had come to care for me, but now I know he would have treated anyone the way he did me. He is naturally affectionate, and in my innocence, I simply read more into it. I look down at where my ring used to be on my hand, suddenly feeling naked after wearing it for weeks. He told me he was coming to care for me and that the ring was mine, no matter what happened. But now I think he was just caught up in the moment, and I simply absorbed it like a dry rag.
But my mind will never forget the odd feelings of need that tingled through me the night he kissed my breasts, something that should have mortified me at the time, but instead it made me ache for something just out of reach. I shake my head, ashamed of how far I have fallen, hardly believing that just last night I was on top of the world, walking beside him hand and hand like I washis.
Wiping a random tear off my face, I refuse to allow any more to follow. The sun is high in the sky when I open the curtain, so it’s probably just about the time Reggie and the others are returningto Grant’s. I know he’ll act as if he is concerned when the others realize I am not there, but secretly, he will rejoice that I took that final step and embarrassment away from him.
I move my skirt aside, making sure the small trinket box is still securely tied to my waist, and try to think about what to do next. It will take several days by coach to reach Promontory. I know that Victoria and Tyberius were heading west, and she said I was always welcome … but right now, I am not sure that I want to lean on anyone else for a while; it hurts too much when people leave. So maybe I’ll get on that train and head back east. Someone must be hiring, after all, I am a maid. If I don’t have an answer by the time I get back to Chicago, maybe I’ll head south to the Carolinas where one of their homes is. However, for the next few days, because I am stuck on this stagecoach, all I have to keep me company are memories and failed dreams.
CHAPTER 26
REGGIE
I ride up to Grant’s new home with a smile on my face as I can’t wait to tell Jessica about our cabin and how much nicer the area is than I imagined. Pulling Bells’ saddle off, I keep looking out over the corral, expecting Jess to come out, only to see Lauren standing alone on the porch.
Grant meets me just as I hook the gate shut. “I am half-starved, and I can smell those biscuits from out here.”
We spent the evening talking about our plans and dreams for the future after going through the house and unpacking the wagons. Even though I enjoyed my cousin’s company, I realized I kept looking around for Jess, like there was just something missing.
“Come on in, boys,” Lauren yells out. “I figured you’d all be back about this time, so breakfast is on the table.”
Walking up the stairs and into the house, a shiver runs down my spine when I notice Jess is nowhere in sight. I follow Grant into the kitchen where Lauren has already set our plates out and sit down. I’ve just taken a bite out of one of her fabulous biscuitswhen I see Lauren looking toward the front door as well, like she’s expecting someone.
“Lauren, where’s Jess? Is she not feeling good?”
“What? Jessica isn’t here, Reggie. She hasn’t been since you all left, so I thought she rode out with you all yesterday. I just realized I may have been mistaken when I didn’t see another horse coming up the lane with you two. But then it dawned on me that she may have stayed behind to straighten things up.
I thought I heard someone come in after you left, but I was telling Roy and Frank where I wanted that chest in our room. They left before I went to your room to check on her. I thought maybe she had lain down, but she wasn’t there.”
I’m on my feet, heading toward my room before she finishes that last part. I can hear her and Grant talking behind me, but my heart knows before I open the door what’s on the other side. Stepping into the room, my eyes absorb everything in an instant. The bed has not been slept in. The shirt I had on yesterday is still balled up on the end, but lying directly in plain sight are the lace gloves I bought, with her ring sitting on top. Picking the ring up, I look at it, getting mad and hurt all at the same time. Stomping back out of the room with her gloves and the ring still in my hand, I walk up to Lauren.
“She didn’t say anything?”
“No, I really thought you had decided to take her with you. I don’t believe we spoke two words, to be honest.”
Before I can say anything else, Henry and Marcus come through the door as they are going to head into town with me to get the Clydesdales. Henry sees the gloves in my hands.
“Oh, those are Miss Jess’. Where is she? Is she feeling better?”
I kneel in front of him. “Why would you ask that, Henry?”
“Yesterday, just as we were coming up the ridge, I saw her … she was sick. Her face was red, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. I was scared she had a fever, but she said it was just her tummy. I get a yucky tummy sometimes, too, but her eyes were sad, and she gave me one of those hugs that means she isn’t going to be able to give you another one for a long time.”
Ruffling his hair, I look over at Grant. “Jess never told me she was sick, but things were crazy yesterday.”
