Page 54 of Keep Me Safe
20
KARA
Shawn’s handfidgeted with the handle of my roller bag while we rode the elevator up to his apartment.
“I thought you’d have a house,” I said. “Some enormous estate in the country.” Maybe even a castle. TheForbeslist had highlighted his assets, and besides a sizeable, diverse portfolio of stock, he owned lots of real estate, including an honest-to-God castle somewhere.
The only answer he gave me was his cryptic smile.
The elevator opened to expose a single door, which he unlocked and gestured for me to go inside. Light flooded the space. The entryway opened to a kitchen on the left and an enormous living area on the right. The apartment was European and modern, all sharp angles, clean lines, and minimalist design.
“You live here?”
There were no pictures on the walls. In fact, there was nothing except for large moving boxes with German words scribbled on the sides. His office was polished and organized, but this was a disaster.
“I’ve been traveling a lot.”
Since there was nothing else to look at, my gaze went to the floor-to-ceiling window that had a sweeping view of the city. In the distance, his brewery loomed. Smoke drifted from the smokestack, illuminated by the glowing Osterhägen logo.
“Where’s your furniture?” I asked.
“It stayed with the house I used to have.” He paused. “A few months ago, I decided it was too much room. Alicia and I had bought it thinking we might need the room for?—”
I sucked in a breath. “Kids.”
“Yes. I’m closer to the office here.”
“How long were you married?”
“To Alicia? Three years.”
I should have left it alone. It wasn’t my business, and it was guaranteed to create more questions, but I did it anyway. “And no kids?”
He straightened, uncomfortable. “No.”
I pressed my lips together to hold in my regret, but he didn’t see it. He turned, went to the large, stainless-steel fridge, and grabbed two bottles of beer. A bottle opener was extracted from a drawer, the caps were popped off, and he slid a bottle across the counter toward me.
“I suppose I should tell you,” his gaze was fixed on me and his face serious, “I don’t want to have children. We both thought I would change my mind about that, but I didn’t, and that was the reason Alicia and I got divorced.”
I took a sip of the beer to avoid saying anything.
“I know it’s a little late to ask,” he continued, “but are you... doing anything to prevent that?”
Since we’d had sex without a condom this afternoon.
“Sorry, no.”
He took a deep breath, and the struggle behind his eyes was fierce. Shawn had enormous wealth and had been ensnared in marriage this way once before. I didn’t want to be cruel, and I didn’t make him wait.
“I suppose I should tell you,” I echoed his words, “I don’t want to have children, either. Which is good, because that’s not possible for me.”
He didn’t appear to understand right away. “You can’t?”
“Nope.” I took another sip of my beer, and for some reason it just came out. “Paul took me to every doctor to prove it.”
His face changed. Not pity, or sympathy, but understanding.
I didn’t have to tell him about the hormone treatments I’d reluctantly agreed to, the months of disappointing looks in Paul’s eyes, and why sex had been so focused on the end result and not the act of love. That was behind me now.
