Page 3 of Broken Silence
Conversation quickly turned to the trial, like it seemed to recently, which was a month away. I was due to give evidence via a video link because I couldn’t stand the thought of being in the same room as them, but the more I thought about it—or talked about it in therapy—the more I felt Ihadto go face them.
My therapist Martha had gone in depth a million times about me finding closure. She’d asked me to think about what it would take to be able to put it behind me enough to move forward.
Following her instructions, I had been thinking about it over the past year, but I’d come up with nothing—not until the trial date was set, and my lawyer spoke about how I could give evidence from Australia.
Martha seemed to think that facing them could finally offer the closure I craved, but she’d also asked me to consider what I would do or how I would feel if they got off.
Betrayed.
Scared.
To think that a jury could possibly believe I had made it all up would be devastating.
I pinned everything on the prosecution proving that the images were downloaded and distributed by my father, and that it was Frank in the one photo they found of me on his phone.
It all seemed so obvious to me, but there was a process. One I had no control over.
Dad had said so many times during my childhood that no one would believe me. If that turned out to be true in a court of law, I didn’t know how I would handle it.
There was also something else—or moresomeoneelse—to consider.
Cole.
Sipping my boiling drink, I listened as Mum and Jasper talked about the jury seeing through Dad’s charm. No one hadfor years, not even the people closest to him.How are strangers going to?I couldn’t think like that. There was evidence. Loads of evidence.
My head ached from thinking and stressing about it so often. I just wanted it to be over already.
After Dad and Frank had been arrested, other girls had come forward. One lady had claimed that Dad had abused her when she was twelve and lived around the corner to him. He was in his early twenties.
I believed her one hundred percent, and I hated him for her, too.
If those women could face them again, then so could I. The need to go there was growing and I couldn’t ignore it.
I wanted to stand up, stare into their eyes, and have them know that I wasn’t scared anymore. Frank had stolen my innocence and my father had stood by and let him, watching whenever he wanted. My dad took my voice and forced me into silence. But I wasn’t holding my tongue anymore. They were both going to pay for what they’d done.
I was going to make sure of it, and then I was going on to have the best life.
Taking a deep breath, I turned to Mum and Jasper with a thudding in my chest that tried to tell me this was a bad idea.Now or never. “I have something I need to talk to you about.”
“What’s up?” Jasper asked. He leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I knew there was something.”
“I want to go back and give evidence in person.”
Silence fell upon the room, like my words had gagged then, and I watched on as they let my words sink in. I didn’t expect them to follow me—not for a second. It wasn’t just me that had gone through it; they had, too. I understood if they didn’t want to be anywhere near Dad.
I could go alone. My aunt Ali and cousin Lizzie would bethere for me. My grandparents, too. Mum and Jasper were my biggest supporters, so, of course, I wanted them to be with me, but I would never ask.
Mum finally nodded. “Okay. If you’re sure that’s what you need.”
“It is.”
She placed her mug down on the coffee table. “Right. I’ll speak to Ali about us staying with her and then we’ll book the flights.”
That’s it?
“You don’t have to come, you know. It’s fine if you don’t want to.”
Jasper snorted. “As if we’re letting you go alone.”
