Page 49 of Broken Silence
“I’m good,” I said. He dropped his hand, leaving his arm around me, and I wasn’t sure if he was still worried or if he just wanted to keep touching me. Play fighting with him in his garage was the most contact we’d had since I got back. I was a little addicted, too, and not ready to give it up.
“Oakley, what happened?” Mum asked.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologise,” Mum and Cole all said in unison.
“I’m not going. You know that, don’t you? I don’t ever want to see that man again.” Mum pulled me away from Cole and into one of those hugs that made me feel like a little girl again. It also took my breath away. Literally, because she squeezed the freaking life out of me. “You can if you want. I understand if you do. He was your husband, and I know you don’t like to talk about him, but you must have questions.”
This trip wasn’t only about me facing them, it was for Mum and Jasper, too. If a visit was what she needed, then I didn’t see how it was any different to me standing up in court.
“If I sat across a table from him, that close, Iwillkill him.” His voice was cold and hard.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“What’s going on in here? Oh, hey, Cole. Fancy seeing you in the same place as my sis—”
“Maxwants to see Sarah,” Cole said, and I knew there were other things he wanted to say, but he was keeping his anger in check.
“What the fuck!” Jasper spat, his eyes sliding to Mum. “Tell me you’re not.”
“Of course, I’m not.”
“Good! Why can’t that sick bastard just fucking leave us alone? What the hell does he want, anyway?” he snapped, the anger radiating from his body.
“It doesn’t matter. She’s not going,” Cole said.
“Itdoesmatter,” he countered. “What the hell is going through his sick mind? Does he think Mum would actually want to see him? What was he going to say to her?Oh, sorry for selling our daughter—”
I cringed and squeezed my eyes closed, as if that would prevent me from hearing what Jasper was about to say.
“That’s enough, Jasper!” Mum snapped.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Jasper groaned. “Shit. I’m sorry, Oakley.”
“It’s fine,” I replied, swallowing a bout of nausea. “Look, I’m tired. I’m going to lay down for a while.”
“Are you sure you’re okay, honey? I don’t want to leave you alone if you’re upset, and it’s fine to be upset around us. Lord knows, Jasper and I have had our vulnerable moments… it’s okay for you to have them, too.”
Since we heard about the court date, I’d put a wall up. It tooksolong to go to trial as more and more came out of the woodwork and detectives had to untangle the messy web of a large paedophile ring. I’d cried so much, part in frustration and part for what had happened to me. But it did give me a lot of time to heal.
As soon as Linda called me to let me know a date had been set, I could feel the waves of depression ready to sweep me up. So, I had pushed it away and pretended.
Only problem was, reality had a nasty habit of catching up with you.
“Right now, I just need some rest,” I told her. “I’ll do the feelings part later, I promise.”
My therapist wasn’t sold on my current plan, but I didn’t know how to get through it any other way.
“Call me if you need to talk,” Cole whispered in my ear as he gave me a hug.
I ignored the intense stares as I left Mum, Jasper, and Coledownstairs. Shutting Lizzie’s bedroom door so I wouldn’t hear whatever they were undoubtedly saying about me, I changed into pyjamas and sank under my cover on the futon.
The metal springs protested nosily as my body moulded to the mattress.
Whatever Dad was doing, it had to be part of his plan. He wouldn’t just want to talk to Mum, randomly, after four years of nothing.
