“You are so stupid,” I tell the jerk looming over me. “He really is stupid.” I also say to mutt just for the sake of it.
“What did I do now?” Sebastian has a bewildered look on his face. “I do not want you upset, my redemption. Sara always gets you angry when she is around. That’s why I have forbidden her to come within a few yards of you. She took me by surprise earlier this evening, but after your reaction, I knew I made the right decision. Besides, you’ve had enough stress for one night.”
“I told you he is stupid,” I mumble to mutt and, of course, my protector agrees with me. He whimpers softly.
Chapter Sixty-Three
“As I said,” Sebastian sits down next to me, his back pressed on the wall and a forearm thrown over his bent knee. “It was wrong of me to keep the dog away. He will stay with you all the time now.”
“Thank you, Sire, for allowing it.” My words are so dry I’m surprised they don’t crumble in the air between us.
“I didn’t mean it that way.” He presses a thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose. “Minchia! I’m screwing this whole thing up.”
Chuckling at his outburst, I scratch mutt behind his ears. The poor bugger fell asleep snoring softly in my lap. I don’t want to let go of him yet. Feeling his chest move reassures me that he is alive.
“I know what you mean, but even if you didn’t agree, I don’t care. No one is taking him away from me anymore.”
“Agreed. That dog has more courage than half of the Council put together. If not all of them.”
“Speaking of the Council.” Glancing at him, I watch his reaction. “We can’t keep waiting here for them to decide to come out of hiding.” He looks back at me with a frown on his face.“I say we go find them. I’m not looking forward to dealing with more mages trying to ambush us. Being buried under a collapsed building was not fun at all.”
“We still don’t know where exactly they are hiding. We know where they will be in two days, but not where they are now.” His fingers trail over the side of my face, tucking the blood crusted hair behind my ear. “It’s only two days we have to wait.”
“That’s only if their assassins get to me, remember?”I’m so tired right now, not even the fact that someone might be coming for my head can rile me up. “They’re supposed to be celebrating my death. Just like back in the old days.” Grinning like a fiend, I shake my head. “Greedy miserable creatures.”
“So, you remember it all now?” Sebastian is on alert, his dark eyes attentive on my face.
“I remembered it since I woke up.” When he opens his mouth, no doubt to tell me off for not spilling the beans sooner, I stop him by lifting my hand in front of his face. “I couldn’t remember it during the day, not all of it anyway. I don’t know why, but I feel like both sides of me are merging together slowly. The red-haze moments still happen, mind you. I know you saw it yourself out there. But it’s night still, and I don’t feel the need to rip everyone apart.”
“That is good. Maybe you just needed more time.” Slinging his arm over my shoulders, he pulls me to his chest. “I will do everything to assure you have all the time you need.”
“You are getting ahead of yourself, Sebastian. I said I don’t feel like ripping everyone apart now, but that’s because I don’t sense the Council’s bonds around me.” Relaxing my stiff body, I let him carry my weight. “I know for a fact the switch will flip the second I smell it.”
“If you know who the betrayer is, I will join you, my redemption. I wasn’t aware that it was turning you into a womanobsessed with killing. Had I known, I would’ve followed at your heels to make sure we kill them slowly.”
“You are so romantic. I don’t know how any girl can resist that.”
My body shakes when he chuckles behind me. “It’s part of my charm. Severed heads and blood baths instead of roses and chocolate.”
“Was Sara your lover?”
I feel like slapping myself for blurting it out. Sebastian stiffens at my back and numbness covers me from head to toe. I shouldn’t have asked. I should’ve kept my mouth shut and ignored the insistent thoughts, but no, I had to blab it out. Only, her face looking at him like he was the best thing in the world kept popping in my head, and the words spilled from my lips without any permission from my rational brain.
“We have not been lovers, no.” My shoulders relax for a moment. But this is Sebastian we are talking about. He always drops the shoe last. “I have fed from her. And I’ve had sex with her like with many humans, but she wasn’t my lover.”
Scrunching up my face and wincing when the still-healing skin pulls and sends pings of pain, I blow out a breath like a wheezing balloon. Mutt stiffens in his sleep, so for his sake, I relax my coiled-up body.
“In this century, when you have sex with someone, they are automatically your lover, grandpa.”
“We feed and we fuck, April.” He sounds affronted. “It is our way. You have felt it yourself. Where is this coming from? What is bothering you?”
Anger rears its ugly head. Okay, not anger. Jealousy, but I’ll be damned if I admit it to the asshole.
“No, we don’t feed and fuck, Sebastian. I have fed plenty, yet I haven’t fucked anyone.” Whirling on him angrily, I grip mutt tightly so I don’t drop him on the ground.
“No, you haven’t, but you have killed while feeding.” Glaring at me, he straightens up, trying to intimidate me with his size. “Should I have killed her? Should I go kill her now? Should I kill them all?”
“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me.” Hissing at him, I’m forcing myself not to scratch his eyes out. We can both be half blind then.