Page 154 of Bound By Fire
He’s quiet for a beat too long.
“We are good together,” he says. Then, quickly, like he’s just realized how that sounded: “In bed. I’m going to miss the sex.”
“But you won’t miss me?”
Stop talking, Robyn.
I sound needy as hell, and I hate it.
“I like you, Robyn. I really do.”
And there it is. I know this tone. Now I know how Rider feels when I turn him down. The “but” is hanging in the air between us.
“But…” he says.
There it is.
“I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“That’s good.” I keep my tone light. “Because neither am I. I’m still too career-focused. Maybe in a year or two, if I meet the right person.” I shrug.
“What about children? Do you want them?” he asks.
I exhale slowly, staring at the ceiling. It’s a question I wasn’t expecting.
“Can you hear it?” I ask him.
“Hear what?” He frowns.
“My clock is ticking.” I widen my eyes. “I did want kids. If you’d asked me a couple of years ago, I would have given you a resounding yes. But things have changed since then.”
“What things?”
“I got divorced,” I tell him. “It happened just over a year after we got to Draig Island. Bruce wasn’t happy here. I was thriving, and he wanted to go back. I got promoted, and I became his boss,which didn’t help his ego. That was the beginning of the end. We fought more and more. It didn’t work out.” I push out a breath. “It was tough.”
“Divorce is not a concept that shifters understand,” he says. “We mate for life.”
“I know.” It comes out wistful, and I don’t try to hide it.
“I think part of the reason I shy away from relationships now is because of how broken my mother was after my father died. She never took another mate. A huge part of her died with him. It never came back. She died when I was on the frontline. Just collapsed one day. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with her.” Ridge has turned his head to look at me now. I can feel his attention on the side of my face. “I think she died of a broken heart.”
“That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s also probably why I would never mate with a human. We’re too different as a species.” He shakes his head.
I turn to face him, propping myself up on one elbow.
“That’s not really fair, you know. There are plenty of humans who marry for life. Who mean their vows. When I married Bruce, and I said those vows, I meant them. I wanted it to be forever. I wasn’t the one who slept with someone else. I wasn’t the one who left. It was him. He hurt me. He left me. He went back to the Mainland with his girlfriend, and he never looked back. You were the first person I slept with in years. I was broken. My visions of our future…of having a family…all went up in smoke. To think I was gearing up to leave it all to go back to the Mainland for him. I would have regretted it.”
Something flashes across Ridge’s face.
“I’m sorry that happened to you. He didn’t deserve you, Robyn. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“It’s fine.” I shrug again. “You’re entitled to your opinion.”
“I hope you find love one day. That you have a couple of kids. You’d make a great mother.”
I smile, and it’s smaller than I want it to be.
