Page 34 of Ruby
I hope it is only good things and the kindness of the world that she has experienced before the hunters. That is always what I try to think about before I fall asleep as well.
Tonight, I make up a story in my mind instead of reliving what has already been. I imagine taking to the skies with my brothers one last time as we leave our aeries and descend, one last joint song and one last bout of chasing thermals.
As I occupy my mind with thinking of these simple pleasures, albeit mixed with a sense of failure and pain, I hope that the dawn will be kinder to Red and me.
We deserve that much.
14
Ani
As the first rays of morning touch my face, there’s an immense sense of comfort surrounding me. For a moment there, I thought I was back in my bed, waiting for my alarm to go off. However, not even my pillows are as comfortable as what I’m laying on.
It takes me a moment to realize it’s Szhe’ka’s chest. The Bitch would demand I make a cutting remark and saunter off. Like a cat caught doing something embarrassing. Just pretend it doesn’t affect you and walk away.
That’s what I should do, but I don’t.
Instead, I wriggle deeper into the soft feathers. It’s so comfortable, I damn near moan.
When I feel the moistness between my legs my eyes pop open. It’s nearly impossible for me to move quickly in the morning, but the strangeness of it all has my mind trying to push past the usual ADHD haze.
When I look up at him, I see that he is already awake and staring back at me.
I want to ask how long he has been like that, but my brain is still scrambled, and I know it won’t come out right. The damn harmonics of his language will give my muddled emotions away if I sing right now.
I lay there just looking into his eyes, which are a really pretty shade of chartreuse in the daylight. When the thought of kissing him occurs to me and I start to wonder where would be best, my brain finally wakes up and I extract myself.
What the fuck, Ani?
In my panic, I’m more like a hungover human than a graceful cat. Limbs uncoordinated and hair threatening to choke the life out of me.
My lips stubbornly clamp down on the hum of chagrin that wants to escape as I stumble to rise, heart beating a frantic rhythm and my pussy throbbing in an anticipation I have never experienced.
I awkwardly walk away, imagining a cold shower washing over me. The wind fulfills the cold part of that for me just fine and I find something else to occupy my mind. My hands reach for my hair and I begin to undo the remaining part of the giant bun I put it in before going to bed. The thought of a cold shower really makes me long to wash my hands. In a forest, there’s bound to be a river, yes?
Behind me, I hear Szhe’ka getting up and I wonder if he’s noticed how weird I’m being. Birds have really good vision and even better senses, but it feels unfair to keep classifying him as an animal. I am capable of having a deep conversation with him. At snail speed, but I know the words are there if we had the time to sing through the notes.
Besides, he is the one who kept me safe all night and he didn’t try to take advantage of me. That has never happened before, though, so part of me is just as confused by it as relieved.
I’m not that deep of a sleeper that I wouldn’t have noticed. Or would I?
Well, there’s no need to overthink it. The stickiness of my hands distracts me again and I look around, noticing the heavy layer of dew on the plants around us. Concentrating hard on the black jumpsuit, I imagine the sleeves growing shorter. It starts receding and I wait until it reaches a short sleeve before telling it to stop.
I have no idea how long we’re going to keep walking, and I don’t want to get dehydrated too soon. I turn around to find him looking at me again and I run a hand through my hair.
“Thirsty. Dirty,” I sing, wincing as my melody somehow sounds embarrassingly inviting and annoyed at the same time.
He cocks his head to the side, as confused by me as ever. I can’t say I blame him, with me not sure if the Bitch is here to help or not.
“Hear water. We go,” he sings to me, and I nod, standing up straight.
We begin walking out of the thicket that housed us for the night and back into the forest, with him in front of me. I allow my mind to wander as I trail behind him. I have nothing more than my imagination and his presence to wonder about.
To be honest, I’m deadweight. I still don’t understand his motives, especially since he risked his life through the night to keep me safe and comfortable. I doubt it’s because he’s loyal enough to that Ree woman that he’s willing to keep me alive. Is he just naïve? Or is he the kind of psychopath to keep his victim comfortable before he consumes them? I wouldn’t put it past anybody.
How do I know that he is not a conniving collector of human bounty?
I look up at his large frame in front of me and see the messy huddle of feathers behind him, which raises a question within me about why they aren’t as ordered as he keeps them in front, but I decide that the light is just messing with my perspective and keep it to myself. We come to a small stream in the middle of the forest, and I almost cry tears of joy. I cannot remember the last time I drank water.
