Page 28 of Almost True
I do pick up bits and pieces, though. We’re going to be protecting a remote native allotment that’s threatened by a fast-moving fire. We’ll be clearing black spruce from around the boundaries of the allotment to start with, and moving on to beating the flames where they’re burning at the surface in places that aren’t forested.
It’s late morning by the time we land, and we start by setting up camp. It’s more luxurious than backpacking—we’ve got a huge box of fresh food that we keep cool by digging down to the permafrost and a big tarp that we string up over our gear to use as a communal space—but we’re still roughing it. There are nochairs and no toilets, and if it’s anything like our last posting, we’re going to have wet feet the whole time we’re out. At least the camp is on solid ground.
The wind changes as I’m putting up my tent, bringing a curtain of smoke into camp, so I’m glad to get moving, even if we’re just going to head into even smokier terrain.
After a quick lunch, we’re straight into it, clearing black spruce and hacking up roots with our Pulaskis as we make our way closer to the fire. I’d gotten a false sense of security from our campsite, but we’ve hardly gone a hundred yards before the ground turns marshy and tussocky just like last time. Fuck me.
I barely see Korren all afternoon. This is hard, repetitive, mind-numbing work that leaves me way too much time to think, and my thoughts are stuck going in circles around what’ll happen with this cabin. The thing is, I’ve realized I would be much happier to have Korren living with me than I would be alone, but he’s made it clear he wants to win the cabin outright.
By dinnertime, Korren looks as exhausted as I feel. Someone has dragged a few of the hacked-up tree trunks over to camp for us to sit on, and I collapse onto one beside Korren.
“How’re you coping?” I ask, pulling off my helmet and wiping sweat from my forehead. I don’t know why I gave Korren such a hard time about the state he was in when he arrived in Copper Creek—I’m barely half a day into this job, and I already feel twice as grimy as he was.
He gives a short laugh. “It’s a lot less thrilling than I expected. I thought we’d be closer to the fire.”
“The guys who do this every year say that’s typical in Alaska. But I think we’ll be going in close later on.”
“You think you’ll be doing more of this next summer?” Korren asks.
“No idea.” I like the camaraderie, but it’s brutal work. I was studying ecology down in Oregon, but seeing as I didn’tfinish the degree, I don’t have a hope of working in anything specialized. “What about you? Has one day up here been enough to scare you off the permanent position?”
Korren flashes me a smile. “Turns out I like this kind of thing.”
“You’re fucking insane. Just like the rest of them.”
This time Korren’s laugh is genuine.
Chapter 20
Korren
The relief I feel after a day on this job is unbelievable. I’ve had a few panic attacks since the event, and I was worried that going back into a fire might trigger something in me. But we’re not even close to the flames, and now that we’re on the ground surrounded by smoke, I can tell this isn’t going to bother me. Thank fucking god.
Also, this is the most intense workout of my life, and it feels just as freeing as the ones I’ve been doing for months now in an attempt to keep my sanity. With each swing of the Pulaski, I chip away at another piece of the darkness in my mind.
It’s not until everyone starts heading to bed that I remember the part I’m dreading.
I have to share Dex’s tent.
As the rest of the crew disappears in their tents, I trudge off toward the furthest reaches of camp—the place where solid ground gives way to a marshy tangle of tree roots and tussocks. Maybe if I’m tired enough, I’ll collapse and sleep dreamlessly.
It still isn’t dark even though it’s past ten, but the sun is dropping lower in the sky, and I can see a glow on one of the mountainsides a ways from our camp where the fire is smoldering. I stand there and watch the fire until my legs are stiff and the cool of approaching night is beginning to work its way through my sweatshirt.
When I hear footsteps approaching, I flinch. If anyone catches me standing here like a dumbass, they’ll think something is wrong with me.
But it’s Dex. Of course it’s Dex.
“What’s going on, Korren?” he asks, and his voice is gravelly with exhaustion.
“Go back to bed.”
“You really don’t want to share a tent with me, do you.”
I give an exasperated sigh. “It’s not even just that.”
“Are you worried you’ll shout in your sleep again?”
I stare at the glowing line in the distance for a long time before nodding.
