Page 90 of The Texas Ranger: Saddled Up
“He’s my boyfriend. That’s who he is, and he has every right to voice his opinion,” Aasia said smartly.
Harvey, who had been a wallflower up until now, stepped forward. His back was straight. “Anne, it’s time for us to go.”
Swiping her heated gaze from each of them, she realized she was outnumbered. “Obviously I’m not welcome here. I’ll go then. I’m sure there’s a room at that BNB.” She took a step.
“There are no rooms available. They’re all taken,” Bear said. “But here,” he slid his hand into his pocket and withdrew a key. “I’ll let the owner, Blanche, know your taking my room for the night.”
Anne stared a good three heartbeats. She was dumbfounded. But in the end, she knew she had no other choice. She took the key and few seconds later the front door slammed with her departure.
Aasia offered Bear a smile of appreciation then heard a sniffle. Phoebe was sitting on the couch, her shoulders shaking and tears falling down her cheeks. “I feel like I’m under a lot of pressure. It’s overwhelming. There’s a crushing anxiety that I’m not going to be a good mom. I mean, look at our role model. What if I don’t have that instant connection? What if I don’tbond with my baby? What if I’m lousy at this? It could be in my genes.”
“The motherhood bonding is a myth. It doesn’t just happen immediately.” Pedroa sighed. “We can instantly love our children, but the bond happens in time. All first-time mothers are terrified to bring a child into the world. It’s overwhelming for every woman.”
“What if I turn out like her,” Phoebe looked toward the hallway. “What if I become a statistic?”
Aasia sat down next to her and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. “What I know is that you are not our mother. And you have me and Pedora who will be here with you, for you, every step of your journey, no matter what you choose. If you choose adoption then we will help get you through that, or if you decide to keep the child we will help. You will never be alone. Don’t hide the fear, talk about it. This experience can be beautiful and profound. Obviously, you need to time to consider all your options.”
Phoebe looked up, a small, tired smile breaking through her sad expression. “Thank you, Aasia. I thought you might hate me if I said the words aloud.”
“Why would I hate you for being honest?”
Phoebe hesitated. “Because when and if you ever have children you’ll be the best mom. You’ll have no doubts because you were a surrogate mom from the time I was brought home. I know you think I don’t remember all those times you were there for me. Protecting me through storms. Through Mom getting drunk and high. All the boyfriends she brought home. You supporting me helps me know that I can get through this.”
Aasia looked through the moisture in her eyes. “We’ll do this together.”
“That’s right. We will,” Pedora chimed in.
The atmosphere lightened.
And when an hour later she and Bear were lying in her bed, she was tucked up next to him with her head lying on his comforting chest listening to his heartbeat, casually playing with a button on his shirt. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“For what?” he asked in a tired voice.
“It would be easier for me to list what I’m not grateful for. But for starters, sticking up for me. I’ve never had anyone do that. Bentley always allowed his mother to speak to me so crudely. And, for giving Mom your room.”
“I will always protect you. And about the room, don’t be so quick to thank me. I had selfish reasons. I was hoping you’d invite me to stay here with you,” he admitted.
She lifted her chin, looking up at him. “I would have asked anyway.”
The rain pelted against the window, offering a symphony of music. There was a calm in the air as if tonight she’d slayed some past demons.
“I don’t hate my mother. Although I might have good reason to, I couldn’t hate her,” she said quietly.
Bear threaded his fingers throughs hers. “I understand.”
“I’ll speak with her tomorrow, but she must realize I don’t need her like I once did. We need to establish an adult mother and daughter relationship. I do feel like she could be wanting Phoebe to have this baby so she can release some of the guilt she feels for how lousy of a mother she was to us.”
He’d been caressing her finger with his thumb and he stopped. “I’m going to throw this out there and hope you don’t get mad. There were a couple times tonight that I caught her watching you. Her smile, everything appeared genuine. Like she was tickled that she had done the party for you. Maybe she feels left out but doesn’t know how to communicate.”
“Parties are easy,” Aasia muttered.
“Hey, I’m not saying a party or a sign of affection makes the past disappear, but you said one time yourself that she had a rough childhood. There are a lot of parents that it takes years to be a parent. I guess you just need to ask if there’s any benefit she could add to your life.”
“You’re always so clever.” She smiled.
“Not always. Anyway, that’s my two cents. And you know, Phoebe’s right. You’d make a damn good mother.”
“How do you know? How does anyone know that?”
