Page 100 of Heartsick & Lipsticks
SKYE
As I stoodin my bedroom and unpacked my bag, I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that I’d had since arriving home an hour ago. Everything looked exactly the same, but it felt different now. I’d reasoned that it was just because I’d gone from living in a mini-mansion with every amenity that one could ever want back to an eleven hundred square foot walkup, but that wasn’t it. If anything, this place felt empty with just Lola, Callie, and me in it. Which made absolutely no sense.
I walked into the kitchen and checked to see what I could make for dinner tonight. The only thing I had everything for was spaghetti. On autopilot, I grabbed the ground beef from the freezer. I grabbed two packages before realizing that I only needed one. I was cooking for three, not six.
Not that Naomi ever ate that much, but I had still been making a serving for her for the past six weeks.
“Hey, mom. Can I go over to Jenny’s and stay the night?”
“We just got home,” I reasoned.
“So,” she shot back.
“I was gonna make spaghetti for dinner.” That had always been Callie’s favorite dish.
Callie tilted her head to the side, indicating that, just like my first response, that was not a reason for her to stay. And she was right.
“Fine. You can go.”
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. But before leaving the kitchen, she turned around. “I miss Bella. Do you think she’s okay?”
“Yeah, sweetie, she’ll be fine.”
Callie didn’t respond. She just went back to her room.
The move back hadn’t been easy for either of the girls. Callie and Bella had a sleepover last night in the family room. Nick made them a fort, and they stayed up and watched movies.
This morning, we all had breakfast together before it was time for us to leave. The mood at the table was quiet and somber. When it was time to go, huge crocodile tears slid down Bella’s face as she hugged Callie tightly. There were promises of getting together and hanging out, but everyone knew that it wouldn’t be the same as the girls living in the same house. Nick had to practically peel her arms from around Callie so we could leave.
Kids were resilient. Plus, Bella had Hannah and Lexi, who were her pseudo- sisters.
A few minutes later, Callie emerged with her backpack. “Jenny’s downstairs.”
“Text me when you get to her house and if you guys are going to go out anywhere.”
“Kay,” she replied before opening the front door.
“I love you,” I called out.
“Love you!” she shouted and the door shut behind her.
My phone buzzed, and I grabbed it. It was a message from Sonja asking if I could cover for Hector, the weekend night nurse, next Saturday. I checked the calendar. That was the day of Alex’s wedding. The wedding Nick had invited me to. Saying no to him was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. But it was the right thing to do. Things between us had gone too far in private. There was no way that I wanted to advertise my bad decisions by going public.
I wondered if he was going to bring a different date and if he did, would he bring her home? Even though I knew we didn’t have a future together, I still didn’t want a front-row seat to him with another woman.
But it’s not about me; I reminded myself of what my priorities should be. Naomi and her care were all that mattered. My job also mattered to me, and supporting co-workers was an important part of that.
I messaged back, accepting the shift.
As soon as I pressed send, a wave of exhaustion pulled at me. I hadn’t slept since yesterday because I was on the clock last night. I’d planned on staying up today and spending the day with Callie since I was off tonight. We hadn’t really spent much time just the two of us since we’d moved in with Nick. But since she’d gone to Jenny’s, I figured I might as well get some sleep.
I was halfway down the hallway when I heard my mom’s door open. “Did Callie leave? I thought I heard the front door.”
“She went to Jenny’s.”
“Do you want some tea?” she asked.
Not really. I wanted some sleep. But Lola never asked to spend time with me; maybe she was having a hard time adjusting to being back home as well.
