Page 41 of Heartsick & Lipsticks
I wanted to believe that my impulse to take my mother to the fundraiser was purely altruistic. My mother’s condition was terminal, but she wasn’t bedridden. All of the doctors I’d spoken to had said that it was good for her to get out and do things while she was still able. She’d been in prison more than half her life, and this would be a chance for her to see what I’d been a part of creating with Alex and Maddox. But the truth was, when the thought had occurred to me to take her, it was Skye beside her at the event, caring for her.
Was the idea crazy to invite Naomi and ask Skye to accompany her? I wouldn’t ask her to do it alone. That would be a lot to put on one person. I could see if Gary or Hector, one of the other nurses would be able to go as well. Would Naomi even want to go?
There was only one way to answer that question. I stood, and as I made my way across the house, I felt my heartbeat speed up and my palms dampen. I was nervous to ask her. I told myself if she didn’t want to go, it wasn’t personal. She was dying. She might not feel up to it. Knowing that logically was one thing. Emotionally, I felt eighteen again, asking her why she’d never written me, only to have her say she didn’t know.
I entered my mother’s room and was not surprised at all to see Bella snuggled beside her on the bed. Parker and Gary were playing cards at the small table by the window.
Seeing my mother smiling at my daughter as she explained the plot of Moana in great detail, including breaking into song, stirred up mixed emotions in me. The time Bella had with her was so fleeting. I worried that she was getting too close to her.
When Parker saw that I was there, he stood up from the chair. “Hey Squirt, you promised me a game of Connect Four before I go.”
“Oh right, I forgot.” Bella leaned over and wrapped her arms around Naomi’s neck, giving her a hug. “I’ll come see you before bed, Grandma.”
Naomi smiled as she patted Bella on the back. She closed her eyes, but before she did, I was sure I saw an unshed tear. “Okay, sweetie pie, and thanks for the picture.”
“You can add it with the other ones,” Bella instructed, pointing to the wall of art that Naomi had displayed all of Bella’s drawings on.
“I will.”
Seemingly satisfied with that response, Bella hopped down and skipped out of the room, with Parker following behind her. Gary also stood and grabbed the water pitcher. “I’m just going to go fill this up.”
My chin dipped in a nod as he passed by.
“That little girl isamazing,” Naomi said when the door closed.
“Yep, she’s pretty great.”
“You’ve done a great job with her. You are an incredible dad.”
Hearing her say those things should be nice. It should make me happy. Instead, I felt defensive. I wanted to snap back at her that she would have known that if she’d allowed me to come and see her.
But that wasn’t why I was here, so I bit my tongue. “Um, so I was wondering if you’d like to or would feel up to going to a fundraiser with me?”
“A fundraiser?” Naomi repeated, looking unsure.
“Yes, it’s Fostering the Future; I started it wi—”
“With your friends, Alex Vaughn and Maddox Cruz,” she finished.
Alex, Maddox, their significant others, and their kids had all been over for a barbecue on Sunday. Naomi had met them and spent a little time outside before getting tired and going back to her room. I assumed one of them must have mentioned it.
“Oh, did you hear about it at the barbecue?”
“No.”
“How did you know?”
Her lips turned up in the corners as she took in a labored breath. “We did have the internet in prison.”
“Right. I know… I just… I didn’t think you"—gave a shit about me, was what I wanted to say—“had followed my career.”
“Of course, I did. You’re my son.”
I wanted to ask,then why in the fuck did you refuse to see me? But I didn’t want to upset her. She was dying. It didn’t matter why she’d done what she’d done.
“Right.” I nodded and put my hands in my pockets.
“I’d love to go, but I don’t want…” Her words trailed off as she struggled to take a breath. I could see the color draining from her face. After several moments, she was able to say, “I don’t want to embarrass you.”
