Page 30 of Heartsick & Lipsticks
Pushing down my insatiable craving, as quietly as I could, I shut the door behind me and followed her out into the foyer. When we stopped, I watched as she inhaled slowly before exhaling.
She bit her lip and her gaze cast downwards. “I need to tell you something.”
There was a gravity to her statement that set off alarm bells. Was it Naomi? Did she have even less time than they’d thought? She’d only been here two days, was I going to lose her already? That thought upset me much more than I would have guessed it would.
My mind was still reeling with that thought when Skye’s eyes lifted and locked with mine. “My daughter was using my tablet for homework today.”
It took a second for me to process her statement. That had not been at all where I’d thought this conversation was going to go.
“A message came up from Sonja while she had it. She said she was trying to close it but opened it instead. It was the NDA that was supposed to have been sent me yesterday. When Callie saw your name, she freaked out because she is a huge fan of your podcast. I was trying to figure out what to tell her when my mother suggested that you must be a patient if I was signing an NDA.” Skye sighed. “Then Callie, my daughter got really upset thinking that either you or Bella were sick and I ended up telling her that it was your mother. She didn’t believe me, because she’d read or heard that both your parents were deceased. I told her that your mother was alive and that she was my patient. Then she got upset again because she thought that meant you had lied about being in foster care, which I assured her that you hadn’t. I told her that she hadn’t been in the picture. She had more questions, but I shut them down. I didn’t reveal anything else, but clearly I violated the NDA.”
I stood staring down at her and had to fight the urge to pull her into my arms. This entire situation had clearly upset her and her daughter. Since I couldn’t comfort her physically, I tried to do it verbally. “I’m so sorry.”
Her shoulders and expression dropped to one of defeated acceptance as she nodded. “Do you want me to finish out the night or should I have the on call—”
“Wait, what? Are you quitting?” The thought that Skye would walk out that door and I would never see her again caused a panic to rise in me.
“No, I’m not…” Her brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought you… You said you were sorry, I assumed it was because you had to let me go.”
“No!” I said a little louder than I’d meant to. I took a beat and tried to get my emotions under control. The past few days I felt like they’d been on a turbo fueled roller coaster. They’d been all over the place and I couldn’t predict what I would feel next. “I was saying that I was sorry that you had to deal with that and sorry that it upset Callie.”
The look of bewilderment remained as she blinked up at me. “You don’t…you shouldn’t be apologizing. I should. I’m so sorry that I violated the NDA on day one.”
“Don’t worry about it. I never intended for you to keep anything secret from your family. The NDA was just due diligence for the sake of my privacy. I don’t want any outlets to get a hold of the story. This is a very delicate, deeply personal situation, and I just haven’t been ready to address it. I don’t know if I ever will be.”
“Well, I told her that she couldn’t say anything to anyone about it, not even her best friend Jenny. I want to believe that she’ll listen to me, but she’s a teenager.”
“It’s fine. Really. Don’t worry about it. Like I said, I would never expect you to keep anything from your daughter.”
She exhaled in visible relief. “I’ve been so scared to tell you.”
I hated that she’d spent even a second stressing about the situation. I wanted to tell her that she never had to be scared to tell me anything, but I thought that might come off a little too familiar. “The fact that you did tell me says a lot about your character.”
Her head shook dismissively. “Anyone in my position would have done the same.”
“No, they wouldn’t. Most people wouldn’t have said anything and just hoped for the best.”
Her eyes widened slightly. “Not me. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep or eat if I did that.”
“I know.” Which was what made her so incredible.
We stood in silence, just staring into each other’s eyes, before she broke our eye contact. “Well, thanks for being so understanding. I better get back.”
She made it two steps before I asked, “How is Naomi?”
Skye stopped in her tracks and spun back around. “Oh, right. Sorry. I should have updated you. She’s okay. She’s still sleeping a lot, which is to be expected, and she doesn’t really have an appetite. Earlier tonight, she said that cookies sounded good, so I baked some with—”
“Bella,” I finished.
“Yeah,” she smiled.
“She told me when I got home. She couldn’t stop talking about it, actually.” I knew that baking cookies with my daughter wasn’t in her job description. It was above and beyond. “Thank you.”
“No problem. She’s a sweetheart. She reminds me a lot of Callie when she was her age.” Her lips pursed as if she’d said more than she meant to, and again, she excused herself. “I better get back.”
I watched as she quietly entered Naomi’s room, and the moment she was out of sight, I instantly missed her. Not abstractly, I felt her absence on a physical level. My entire body ached.
Whatever it was I was feeling, it wasn’t going away, and my distraction hadn’t worked. I was in uncharted territory, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t have a plan. That was exciting and terrifying all at once. I wasn’t sure which one was more.
