Page 130 of Heartsick & Lipsticks
SKYE
“So this is it, huh?”Ri called out from down the hall off the kitchen.
“What is it?” I asked as I packed up the leftovers from the memorial gathering.
Kurt was going to drop them off at a shelter, so they didn’t go to waste. Most everyone had already gone home, including Callie and my mom, who left about an hour ago. Nick was out saying goodbye to Bella, who was spending the night with Alex and Sadie.
I hadn’t seen much of Nick today, but he’d asked me to stay behind. I hadn’t questioned why; I just agreed to do so. I could see in his eyes and posture that today was harder on him than he’d thought it would be. Seeing him speak about Naomi had broken my already shattered heart. I was relieved that I would have some time alone with him after everyone left. If not, I’d just be at home worrying about whether he was okay or not.
“The famous lipstick collection,” Ri said as she came down the hall from the bathroom carrying the large container of lipstick.
“I thought you were going to the bathroom,” I chided her.
“I did; this was in there.” She held it up.
“Go put it back.”
“He really did get around, didn’t he?” Her tone was clearly impressed as she turned around and headed back down the hall.
He did.When I thought about those lipsticks and what they represented, it was difficult for me to reconcile the Nick who collected them with the Nick I knew. I wasn’t naive enough to believe that I’d somehow changed him, but maybe the circumstances with his mom had. Or maybe he was just older now and at a different stage in his life. Whatever the reason, I just couldn’t imagine him having any fulfillment from a meaningless one-night stand. Not that I wanted to think about that.
Ri walked back into the kitchen at the same time that Kurt came in from the back deck, where he’d been on a call with his sister.
“Are these ready?” he asked, nodding toward the containers.
“Yep.”
“You ready to go?” he asked Ri.
“Yep,” she mimicked my response.
Kurt gathered the containers and turned to me. “Do you want a ride or…”
“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”
His chin dipped in acknowledgement.
“Thanks for coming and for everything,” I told Ri as I gave her a quick hug. She’d technically come with Kurt today, but she’d been a huge support for me this past week while I was trying to support everyone else. She’d spent every night this week at my apartment helping with dinners, laundry, and errands while everyone processed the loss.
Kurt and Ri headed out, and I tried to hold back tears as I wiped down the counters. Today Naomi had been honored in the most beautiful and heartfelt way, and I felt so honored to have been a part of it. But I just couldn’t shake the weight of sadness that saying goodbye to her represented. I wasn’t just grieving for the loss of Naomi; I knew that this would be the final time I’d be here at Casa de Locke. It had to be. For my own sanity.
I was in love with Nick. And although I believed that he cared about me, I knew better than to think that he was in love with me. Our circumstances had created a bond that wasn’t sustainable. After today, we would both go on with our separate lives. Well, with one exception. Bella and Callie were going to see each other, but my plan was to work out times when Nick wasn’t around as much as possible.
When I left this house, I was going to go cold turkey with Nick. No visits. No calls. No texts. It was the only way I knew I could protect myself. I needed to try to rebuild my life and heal from the inevitable heartbreak that I was already experiencing.
Footsteps echoed in the hallway, and my heart rate picked up speed. This was going to be goodbye. I was dreading it but also just wanted to get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
The footsteps stopped, and I felt Nick standing behind me. I hesitated before turning around because I didn’t trust myself now that we were alone. I was concerned that I would either A. burst out in tears or B. jump him like a cat in heat.
Neither reaction was appropriate.
After taking a fortifying breath, I slowly pivoted to face him. Thankfully, I managed not to cry or jump him. Instead, I greeted him with a tentative, “Hey.”
He didn’t respond, at least not with words. His eyes burned with intensity as he reached out and pulled me into his arms. I melted against him. This was all I’d wanted to do all day–just hug him. Comfort him. Show him physically what I was too afraid to verbalize.
My arms wrapped around his neck as he buried his head against mine. I could feel his breath fan against my skin as his breathing grew more and more labored. His breath wasn’t the only thing I felt. I could also feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against my belly. His hands roamed up and down my back as we stood in silence, just holding one another.
“Skye?” My name was a raspy plea. I knew exactly what he was asking without him having to explicitly say it.
