Page 112 of Heartsick & Lipsticks
SKYE
I stood staringout of the large window in Naomi’s room that overlooked the bay, and my mind drifted back to Callie’s birthday. Two weeks had passed since the celebration, yet it felt like a month—a year, even.
Since moving back home, things had returned to the way they were at the beginning of my job. Kurt picked me up and dropped me off at home. I was able to see Bella for a few minutes at night and in the morning, but it wasn’t even close to the same.
It was strange for me to feel so out of place here. It was almost as if the time I’d spent here hadn’t existed, like I’d imagined it. But it was real. And it was over. I wasn’t sure where that left me since I no longer felt at home here or at my apartment.
The floorboard creaked behind me, and I turned to find Nick standing in the doorway. The tailored black slacks and white button-down shirt he wore were nearly as hot as him shirtless in gray sweats. The top few buttons of the shirt were undone, and his sleeves were rolled up on his forearms, revealing his tattoos.
At the sight, my mouth watered. It wasn’t fair that a man could be that sexy while I stood here in scrubs. He stared at me with an intensity that had my body burning with arousal from the inside out. I found it hard to take a breath. The heat in his gaze had sucked all the oxygen out of the room in a backdraft.
“Hi,” I whispered as I lifted my hand lamely and did my best to ignore the hormonal reaction I was having to his drool-worthy sex appeal.
He blinked and then glanced over at Naomi. When he saw that she was sleeping, he motioned for me to come into the hallway. As I crossed the room, I tried to remind myself that this was a professional relationship. That’s all.
“What are you doing here?” he asked as I closed the door behind me.
“Hector had a family thing, so I’m covering his shift.”
He stared down at me. The intensity of his eye contact had my entire body heating up from the inside. I lowered my eyes and cast my gaze to the floor.
“How is she doing?” he asked.
The weight of my feet shifted from one to the other as I continued looking down. My heart was beating a million miles a minute, and I felt flushed. Forcing myself to push past my reaction to him to answer his question, I lifted my chin, tilting my head. The second our eyes met they locked and a wave of tingles spread through me. He stood about a foot away from me; he wasn’t touching me, but I felt him and could barely think straight. I wanted so badly to raise up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. To take one step toward him and have him wrap his arms around me in a soul-soothing embrace. I’d gone so long without the touch of a man, and now that I’d had it again, I couldn’t stop wanting it.
But this wasn’t about me. Nick was asking about Naomi.
“She’s tired, and her appetite is nonexistent.”
I felt like such an asshole standing here thinking about my attraction to Nick while his mother lay in a bed a few feet away with her health declining rapidly.
“Yeah.” Nick’s chin dipped in a nod. “Her doctor was by today.”
Gary had told me that Dr. Porter had stopped by and tweaked her medication to keep her more comfortable. It was so hard once things got to this point.
“He said that this is…that her time is…that things are coming to an end.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I fisted my hands at my side, holding on to my scrubs. I wanted so badly to reach out and comfort him, but that wasn’t my place. I had to keep things professional. That’s what I told him I wanted. He’d asked me to go to the wedding he’d been at tonight, and I’d declined. I’d regretted it every moment since, but deep down, I knew I’d done the right thing.
“I miss you.” A storm of pain raged behind his piercing blue eyes.
My heart did cartwheels at his declaration. But my party-pooper head reminded me that the reason he missed me was due to the extraordinary circumstances in his life. He felt close to me because of Naomi. It wasn’t about me.
“The house has been so empty without you, and Callie, and Lola.”
That was proof that his feelings had less to do with me and more to do with the dynamic of the house with more people in it. I knew that it was subconscious, and he probably didn’t even know that it was the case, but we’d been a distraction for him. The fewer distractions, the more he had to face the reality of what was happening.
As much as I wanted to shield him from the pain of losing his mom, I knew that it was for the best that he faced it head-on. The truth about grief was, ignoring it and avoiding it were only sustainable for so long. One way or another, it would come out.
The healthiest thing to do was process things in real time.
He put his hands in his pockets, and I wondered if he was battling the same impulses I was.
“My birthday is next week,” he said.
“Oh.” I pretended to be surprised.
“My friends are throwing me a surprise party.”
