Page 104 of Heartsick & Lipsticks
What if I wasn’t emotionally available in the way that they needed?
What happened if, six months or a year from now, I did the wrong thing or said the wrong thing?
I didn’t have any sort of track record to prove that I could be a good partner. I was almost forty and had never been in a committed relationship. The stakes were too high to fuck it up.
When I got off the elevator, I saw Ariel speaking to our sound engineer, Liam. I quickly turned the corner before she could stop me to go over anything that may have come up. I just wanted to get up to my office without seeing anyone. All my life, I’d been an extrovert, a people person; I lived for social interaction. But right now, I didn’t want to see or speak to anyone.
I only wanted Skye.
I’d been tempted to buy the building that she lived in just so I could evacuate it again for renovations, so she would have to move back in. Truth be told, if it weren’t for the hundreds of other residents being displaced, I would have already done it.
I made it to my office without having to interact with anyone, and I closed the door behind me. Instead of sitting behind my desk, I walked over to the floor-to-ceiling windows and looked out over the city. As I watched the people below, I wondered how many of them were as miserable as I was. Surely, I couldn’t be the only person who was experiencing this, whatever ‘this’ was.
I’d always been a firm believer in facing my challenges head on. I’d never backed down from a single obstacle that had been put in my way. And I wanted to face this one, but how?
I wasn’t even sure about what was going on with me.
“Nick.”
Hearing my name made me jump. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t even realize Jada had entered the room and that she was holding my phone. I hadn’t retrieved it after the podcast because I’d walked Mr. Burke and Mrs. G out.
I held out my hand, but she didn’t immediately give it to me. Instead, her lips pursed, and I knew then something was really wrong.
“What?” I asked. “Is it Bella?”
“Is it Naomi? Is she—"
“No. I mean, yes, but no. There’s been no change to Naomi’s health that I’m aware of.”
“Then what?”
Jada took a deep breath and exhaled. “A story came out, and a few outlets have picked up on it.”
“Okay.”
“It’s about your mom, er, Naomi.”
“What?”
Instead of waiting for her to give me my phone, I sat at my desk and clicked on the space bar of my keyboard. The screen came to life. I typed my name into the search engine, and several articles populated with click-bait headlines.
San Francisco’s Most Eligible Bachelor’s Killer DNA
Nicholas Locke: Murder in the Family
Popular Podcaster’s Murderous Past Exposed
Duel POV Host’s Hidden Homicide
“How did this get leaked? Who is the source?” I asked as I opened all five in separate tabs.
“I don’t know yet. But I’ll find out.”
I stared at the screen and felt…exposed. Vulnerable. It wasn’t me I was worried about; it was Naomi and Bella. I didn’t want either of them to be upset by this.
“Do you want me to write up a statement?” Jada asked.
“No. I’ll do it. Does Naomi know?”
