Page 90 of Heartsick & Lipsticks
SKYE
I shutmy eyes after confessing that I missed Nick. I know that all I’d done was repeat what he had told me, but I was suddenly feeling very vulnerable. He had a way of making me feel like that. I tried not to think about what tonight meant or the fact that I wouldn’t be able to sneak out tomorrow morning like I had in the hotel. I just decided to surrender to the experience.
His lips softly pressed against my neck, jaw, and then continued peppering kisses down my neck.
He whispered against my skin, “I like you living here. Being under my roof. I like coming home to you and waking up to you. I look forward to cleaning the kitchen every day because I do it with you. Every time I see you, I feel calm. No one has ever made me feel that before.”
I nodded but felt my body tense because I knew where these confessions were coming from. The reason he was feeling these things was because of the heightened and unusual circumstances we were in. The storm of stress and trauma, which was the reason we’d been spending so much time together, was the catalyst for his feelings. It had nothing to do with me. I just represented the umbrella he stood beneath to escape the downpour of his reality.
I was the safe place.
The shelter.
The escape.
I was the other person who understood what was going on. It created a bond that had nothing to do with me. I needed to remember that. My feelings for him were real, but his were situation based, which was another reason this was a bad idea.
Unfortunately, even understanding the truth of what was happening wasn’t enough for me to stop it from happening. Unlike Ri, I wasn’t convinced that it didn’t make me a horrible person.
Above me, Nick stilled.
I opened my eyes and found his baby blues staring down at me with an intensity that rushed through me like the rapids.
His brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He lifted up onto his forearms and his thumb grazed my cheek. I closed my eyes at the tenderness of his touch. “I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing.”
I shook my head, not wanting him to feel bad for his admission. If it was under any other circumstances, I would be swooning right now.
“No, you didn’t.”
“Something made you uncomfortable.”
“It’s just…I got distracted.”
“Wow.” The right side of his mouth lifted in a curl. “Then clearly I’m doing something wrong.”
“No, I didn’t mean, not like that.” I tried to recover from the insult I’d just inadvertently given him. “I’m just in my head. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for.” His thumb glided along my jaw and tingles rippled through me. “We can stop. We don’t have to—"
“No,” I shook my head. I couldn’t believe that Nick was naked, on top of me, and we were talking. Ri would be so disappointed in me. “I don’t want to stop.”
Concern brimmed from his deep ocean stare.
The right thing to do would be to stop. This wasn’t going to go anywhere. There was no reason to blur the lines any more than those suckers had already been smudged. My head knew that. Other parts of my body had other ideas.
Without running it by my conscience, my hips rolled, grinding my sex against his heavy erection cradled between my legs. His nostrils flared as he exhaled audibly. My hands roamed up and down his back before lowering further. I gripped his ass cheeks and squeezed as I rocked my hips into his straining erection. My wet folds slid up and down his shaft.
I could see that he still wasn’t convinced I really wanted this so I lifted up and pressed my lips to his neck. His skin was salty and sweet as I pressed open-mouth kisses just below his ear. I licked him, before nibbling lightly on his earlobe.
A deep groan vibrated from his chest a second before I felt myself being flipped over onto my belly. The mattress dipped beneath me. The next thing I heard was the distinct sound of a condom wrapper being ripped open.
Anticipation built in me, excitement for what was going to happen next. The first time we’d been together, he hadn’t taken me from behind. If memory served, doggy style had been my favorite position. With each second that passed, I felt myself getting more and more aroused. I’d barely recovered from my first orgasm, but already felt the signs of number two building.
The tips of his fingers dug into my hips and he lifted me up onto my knees which meant my ass was in the air. I gasped as I balanced on my forearms. His hands spread out on my backside. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to just surrender to the sensations of his strong fingers squeezing and exploring my body.
