Page 53 of Heartache & Playdates
I tried to read the menu but was having a difficult time concentrating as Marco prepared our drinks from a station in the corner. After delivering our beverages he took our order then left the outdoor, private space.
The moment the door clicked in place and we were, for all intents and purposes, alone the energy shifted, just like it always did.
“This place is beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful.”
I felt my cheeks blush. Not from embarrassment. I was never embarrassed when Maddox complimented me. No, the flush I was feeling was because my hormones were working overtime.
Every cell in my body was buzzing like a live wire. It had always been that way with Maddox. Since the first time he sat next to me at the lunch table. When he was near, I got goosebumps. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
I had a physical reaction to his presence. I didn’t need any wine; I could easily get drunk on the pheromones and endorphins that Maddox exuded. He was intoxicating.
But I needed to keep my wits about me. This wasnotthe reunion. I’d given myself one night to indulge in my base, animal desires. I didn’t regret the time we’d shared together but there was not going to be an encore. There couldn’t be.
Even if he was mad at me, confused, sad about what I had to say, I could deal with that. What I couldn’t deal with was having him hate me. And he would. If he knew everything, he would.
There were things I needed to say, but first, I had to ask. “Why did you bring Hannah to Nonna’s today?”
“There were a few reasons.”
I lifted my cup and sipped my hot tea. “Care to share with the class?”
“I saw you at the park—”
“You saw me?” I thought that might have been the reason he’d shown up, but I hadn’t been sure.
His brow furrowed. “Yeah, did you see me?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Why had I said that? Why was I going off-script? I’d come here to tell Maddox that we didn’t have a future. That was it.
“Mmm, hmm,” I admitted with a nod.
“Is that why you disappeared?”
I continued to nod. “You were with someone.”
As soon as I said it, I heard how jealous it made me sound. Which I had been, but that wasn’t the reason that I’d left. Or was it? I couldn’t even be sure at this point my head was so scrambled.
“I wasn’t with her. It was one of those fucking playdates. You should have said hi.”
“I should have. And I should have texted you back. And I should have said goodbye in Napa. And I should have said goodbye before I left for Germany. There’s a lot of things I should have done that I didn’t. I’m sorry, Maddox.”
He stared at me, studying me. It felt like he was trying to figure out where this was going before he accepted my apology. “I don’t care about the past. I care about now. Are you staying in San Francisco?”
“I am. Nonna had a pretty bad fall. It was days before anyone found her.”
“She mentioned something about that, but I didn’t know it was that serious.”
“Yeah, she has a tendency to make a big deal over small things and downplay serious things. Anyway, yeah. I moved back.” I saw the flash of something in his eyes and I quickly added. “But I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” he asked. “Have dinner with an old friend.”
I smiled. “You know you’re more than that.”
His left brow lifted. “Am I?”
