Page 90 of Heartbreak & Cupcakes
SADIE
“E, no!”I picked up my wrinkled face bag of love from where he was whining at the door. He wanted Lexi. The two of them had grown inseparable over the past couple of weeks that we’d been here.
As I carried Eeyore to bed I couldn’t help but notice that he’d packed on a couple of pounds in the past few weeks. I had a feeling that had to do with the person he missed slipping him bites under the table.
I laid him down on the bed and crawled back under the covers. I’d been trying to sleep for the past two hours but it was not happening. I flipped my pillow over, thinking the cool side might assist in bringing the slumber that was evading me. But it didn’t help.
Restlessly, I turned over and stared out the window overlooking the spectacular lights of the buildings and the Bay Bridge. My thoughts automatically travelled back to exactly seven days ago when Alex knocked on my door, undressed me, and proceeded to give me the best orgasm of my entire life.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure what I’d expected after the night we’d spent together. But the past week, everything had seemed to go back to normal, at least on his side.
He did not seem to suffer from the same pining affliction I had come down with. Whatever he’d needed to get out of his system, or whatever had possessed him to act the way he had after the gala, was obviously no longer affecting him.
This past week had been just about the same as the week before. I’d seen Alex in the morning before he left for work. We’d all have dinner together, and then I’d go to my room and let them have family time.
Tuesday night had been the only exception.
I’d started to go to my room, as always, but Lexi had asked if I wanted to play Candyland. She said it would be way more fun with three people, plus she wanted Eeyore to be on her team. I’d told her I was tired, because I didn’t want to intrude on their father/daughter time, but Alex had asked if I would just play one game.
We’d ended up playing four times. Alex had been the first victor. Then Lexi had beat both of us. And the third time was the charm for me, and I finally won. So we’d played one last round to find out who the Candyland champ was. Alex had ended up taking the title and Lexi deemed her dad Candyland Queen going so far as to crown him with a tiara that she had in her dress up clothes.
Watching Alex with Lexi was not helping the Grand Canyon of crushes I had on him. The night I’d spent in his bed had only served to cement the feelings I already had for him. And they were growing by the day. My feelings were like gremlins that got wet and were fed after midnight; they were multiplying and ravenous. Every time I saw him, heard him, smelled him, my heart overflowed like suds pouring out of a washing machine filled with liquid dish soap.
Today, was my day off. I’d seen him, only briefly, in the morning before I left to deliver the cake to the Montez wedding. After I’d dropped off the three-tiered, round, white chocolate with raspberry filling, fondant covered masterpiece at the reception, I’d come home and found the condo empty.
I’d spent the evening baking and made myself a frozen pizza for dinner. After inhaling copious amounts of calories, I’d spent a good two hours on the phone with my dad. After doing his own investigating into Alex he was at least semi-assured that the man wasn’t a serial killer. He’d actually been pretty impressed by his “gumption.” Alex hadn’t had anything handed to him. He’d worked hard for everything he had. My dad admired that in people. Also, I think my dad related to him losing his wife on the same day as she’d had Lexi. That was an elite club that no one would ever want to be a part of, but both Alex and my dad belonged to. And Alex hadn’t just lost his wife, he’d also lost his teenage son.
I’m not available mentally, emotionally, or physically.
Those words kept playing in my mind. I knew his reasons, well my head did anyway. My heart and hormones were in denial. The way he’d touched me, kissed me, and held me were seared into my body’s DNA. I couldn’t stop obsessing about that night. Playing it over and over again and trying to dissect each and every moment.
But that’s what I did.
I built things up into something that they weren’t. I still wasn’t sure what he’d gotten from the night that we’d spent together. He’d given me the World Series winner of orgasms, but then he’d fallen asleep very unsatisfied. I’d felt the evidence of just how unsatisfied he was. I expected to wake up with a bruise from the steel rod that had been pressed against me. His balls had to be bluer than Smurfs, but he didn’t act on it.
The truth was, he was probably just lonely. It wasn’t personal. He wanted to hold someone. To kiss someone. To feel someone beside him.
That’s all it was. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake I always did and romanticize what happened between me and Alex. It was one night. Nothing more.
I took a deep breath and shifted in bed so I was now laying on my back. All I had to do was get through the next two weeks without falling even more in love with him. That was it. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Note to self:do not, under any circumstances, fall more in love with Alex or Lexi.
I’d already been in my room when I’d heard Alex and Lexi come home close to nine. Actually, I hadn’t heard Lexi at all, but that was probably because she was already asleep, since that was an hour past her bedtime and Alex had most likely just carried her to bed.
I had no idea where they’d gone today and that felt odd. It wasn’t any of my business. I knew that. I was basically just hired help. But I’d grown so close to that little girl. She’d wrapped me right around her little finger. I always got attached to the kids I nannied for, but Lexi was special. She was a little girl who I knew I was going to miss terribly. Even though I kept reminding myself, this was temporary.
I’d received an update from my property manager that I’d be able to move back in and reopen in two weeks. So, unless this was aMoney Pitsituation, I’d be out of here in fourteen days. That time felt like it was going to pass in the blink of an eye. But then, when I thought about the fact that I’d been living here for two weeks, it felt like so much had happened.
I turned over again and glanced at the clock. It was a quarter to midnight. I knew that there was no way I was going to fall asleep anytime soon, and the banana bread I’d baked this afternoon was calling to me.
Alex would be in bed by now. He went to bed every night as soon as Lexi did and never left his room so I didn’t bother grabbing sweats. My oversized shirt went down to my mid-thigh, so it was in no way scandalous. Plus, he’d seen, and tasted everything anyway.
“Shhh!” I whispered to Eeyore, who had a habit of barking when I opened the door. It was like he was calling out to Lexi to come and rescue him.
He whimpered as I kept my eyes on him and slid out, shutting the door as quietly as humanly possible. I padded down the hallway and wondered in a year from now what I would think about when I remembered the month I lived with Alex Vaughn.
I tried to think about what it would be like to return to my old schedule. Getting up every day at three in the morning. Spending all day in the bakery. I’d planned on keeping my same morning routine while I was at Casa Vaughn but the past week, I’d been sleeping in until six. My alarm went off religiously at three but knowing that there was no reason Ihadto get up, I’d press snooze. A lot.
