Page 81 of Heartbreak & Cupcakes
“You deserve a man who’s available. I’m not available. Mentally, emotionally or even physically.”
I couldhearthe pain in his gritty voice. I couldseethe pain in his tortured eyes. I couldfeelthe pain radiating off him in waves. But that wasn’t the only thing that was coming off him in waves, or in his stare, or in his voice. There was also need and desire intertwined in all of those things.
I wasn’t delusional enough to think that I could do anything to ease the suffering that he’d endured in his life.I knew I couldn’t fix the pain that he lived with every day. But I could give him permission to take what we both wanted and maybe, just maybe give him a moment of relief. Of pleasure.
“None of that changes that I still want you to kiss me.” My voice sounded much stronger than I felt. Inside I was two seconds away from wilting like a bouquet of flowers in a bone-dry vase.
The fire in his eyes grew brighter. He lifted one hand and cradled my jaw, his thumb brushed across my lower, then upper lip. We were both fully clothed, we’d barely touched, he hadn’t even kissed me, but this encounter was better than any sex I’d ever had in my life. It was so electrically charged.
Alex leaned forward and completely involuntarily my eyelids drifted shut. The pad of his thumb continued to trace my mouth, building the anticipation of what was to come.
When his thumb dropped down to my jaw a warm rush of his breath fanned my face a second before his mouth covered mine in an achingly tender kiss. His hands moved to the back of my neck, tilting my head up so that he had total control and access. I allowed myself to sink into the delicious tingling sensation spreading through me.
The kiss started out gentle and sweet. Our lips brushed against one another’s like a summer breeze. But soon, the breeze turned hot. I felt Alex’s tongue graze my bottom lip with tantalizing persuasion causing my lips to part in a silent invitation.
The moment our tongues met the kiss turned savage in its intensity. He explored my mouth with masterful passion, and I surrendered to his complete domination of the moment. Urgency rose in me, overtaking all of my senses. I lost myself completely in the heady sensations coursing through my veins.
My hands gripped his shoulders in an attempt to anchor myself in the moment. I felt like I was flying as currents of desire flooded through me sending me soaring through the air. For months, I’d been fantasizing about this happening. But nothing I’d imagined came close to the reality.
I couldn’t tell you if the kiss lasted a minute or ten but much too soon for my liking, it was over. The second his lips left mine, the moment burst like a bubble. His fingers gripped the back of my neck as his forehead rested on mine and our labored breaths mingled.
“Goodnight, Sadie.”
“Goodnight, Alex.”
For a moment, I was sure he was going to claim me in another soul-crushing kiss but instead his arms dropped as he took a step back. Then, without another word, he turned and walked down the hall toward his room.
I planned on doing the same, as soon as my legs were in working order again. Right now, they were noodle status.
