Page 50 of Griffin
“I’m no saint. But if you need shelter, I’ll be the wings.”
I smile a little. Psalm 91:4 is one of my favorites. I like understanding him a little more. He’s always been a good man. He needed to be stronger to survive than most. That’s admirable.
“Why did you come through the back door of the bakery today?” I pull my head back farther to meet his eyes. It’s almost comical how short I am next to him. And while I have a big belly, his chest is almost as wide. But I do love a dad bod.
“Ahhh…” He scratches the back of his head, his cheeks tinting a little. “I had a big delivery.”
“Delivery?” I ask, not understanding why he seems so nervous.
He glides his hands down my arms and takes my hand.
“Come on. Let me show you.”
We walk out the back to the kitchen, and I stop short, seeing bags and boxes and a whole mountain of things.
“What’s all this?”
“Well, I’m going to build the baby nook for you here in the kitchen, and I figured you probably needed a few things…” He watches me closely.
“A few things? Griffin, this looks like you’ve purchased an entire baby store!” My eyes widen, taking it all in. There's a rocker, bassinet, high chair, car seat, and what looks to be bags of bottles, pacifiers, bibs, blankets, sheets, clothes, and so much more.
“I thought we can keep some things here, and I can have some things at my place…” He runs his hand through his hair, looking unsure.
My attention snaps back to him, in slight awe and confusion.
“This must have cost a fortune. I can’t afford all this.”
He’s already shaking his head. “It's a gift.”
“A gift?” My throat feels thick. I haven't cried for a few weeks. That emotional part of me regressed a little, but now it’s coming back with a vengeance.
“I wanted to get some things for you. So we’re prepared.” He steps toward me, holding my hand. Watching me and searching my face.
“We’re?” I’m hopeful, but I don’t want to wish for it in case it doesn’t come true.
“You’re not doing this alone. I'm here to help. I told you that.” He lifts his hand to cup my cheek, and I pull in a deep breath as reality settles in. A new reality. One where I’m not alone and Griffin is beside me.
I lean up on my tiptoes to kiss him, letting him know wordlessly how much he means to me. When our lips part, he holds me against his chest, and we stand in silence for a few minutes, listening to each other’s soft breaths.
His phone buzzing makes me pull back, because he doesn’t seem to care about answering it.
“Do you need to get that?” I ask.
“I usually meet Tanner and the crew at the bar tonight. I think they’re probably reminding me since I never responded to their group text earlier while I was running around.” He brushes some hair away from my face, something in his eyes telling me he’d much rather stay right here than go out with his friends. “You want to come? Maybe getting out and about will be good? I’ll have them bring the girls too.”
I’m tired, have lots to do, and need to rest. But hanging out with friends at a bar where I can relax and talk might be good.
“I’d really like that.” I give him a small smile.
“Good. Let’s unpack some of this, and then we can get going." He walks over to the pile of things and pulls out a cream blanket from a bag, lifting it to show me.
And as I look at this man, tall, strong, grumpy, holding this soft, delicate blanket, my body reacts. Reaching for him like it knows something I don’t, my heart thuds harder.
He says he wants to be here for me. He dances with me. Kisses me. Holds my hand, holds me. But as much as I want him, I still can’t help but feel like I'm a burden… like I’m asking too much by existing in his orbit. But then he looks at me, really looks, and I swear the ache in my chest shifts. Not from pain, but from the terrifying hope that maybe, just maybe, there's a slight possibility that Griffin could be the one.
And that thought… It’s almost enough to make me believe I deserve this. Deserve him.
Almost.
