Page 65 of Roses from Pemberley
“I am, ma’am.”
She pressed her frilly handkerchief to her eyes - the one she often used when asking Hill to bring her salts - and said, “Thank you, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy. I apologise for the way I spoke to you not long ago. You are two very good men. Good men, indeed. And I shall be happy to call you my sons.”
Bingley smiled sorrowfully then helped her to stand, and she resumed her quiet weeping.
“Perhaps, Bingley,” said Darcy, “it would be best if you go to Hertfordshire with the ladies while I stay in London and proceed with the search. I would feel a great deal better knowing you are there with them.”
“Yes, of course,” said Bingley.
A few minutes later, Lady Catherine’s carriage arrived to take them to Hunsford. They all filed out to the front drive.
“I shall see you in the morning,” said Darcy, as he handed her in. “All will be well, Elizabeth. Trust me.”
She looked into his eyes and wondered how she ever lived before without him. It seemed incomprehensible to her now, despite the fact that they had been engaged less than an hour. For she had come to depend upon him, somehow feeling that, no matter what went wrong in the world, he would be there to help her through it. She smiled at him, attempting to show him with the expression on her face, just how much she loved and appreciated him.
He returned her smile, squeezed her hand a final time, then stepped back and closed the door. The last thing she saw as the carriage drove off was Darcy, standing with Bingley at the front drive of Rosings - Richard, Anne and Diana standing at the portico behind them.
CHAPTER 28 Trip Home
Elizabeth did not sleep as poorly that night as she expected to. Perhaps it was because she had slept so poorly over the past two nights - the first night because she thought she’d lost him, and the second night because she’d entered into a courtship with him. She awoke more than an hour before dawn and saw to some last minute packing before going to her mother and Jane’s room to awaken them. Surprisingly, they were already awake and dressed when she got there.
“Are you well, Mamma? How did you sleep?”
“I do not know that I slept much, Lizzy,” said Fanny Bennet dully, staring out the dark window. “In fact, I do not think I slept at all, but…whatever the case may be, I shall not hinder anyone with undue hysterics. It is the least I could do.”
Elizabeth and Jane shared a look, both puzzled by their mother’s behaviour. And then Jane said, “You are very good, Mamma.”
Mrs. Bennet merely shook her head then began to put a few more items into her trunk. Not long after that, they went downstairs and looked out to see that the Darcy and Bingley carriages were already there. They shared a light breakfast with the gentlemen in Charlotte’s small dining parlour, then were outat the front gate in half an hour. Elizabeth said her farewells to her closest friend then was handed into the carriage by Darcy. They left while it was still dark.
Elizabeth hardly had any chance to speak with her betrothed, as everything happened so quickly. But he did look sympathetically at her from time to time and it was enough to bolster her spirits.
They headed for London, the three women traveling in Darcy’s carriage, and the servants travelling in Bingley’s. The gentlemen elected to ride, and it gave Elizabeth some solace to see her betrothed occasionally trotting by on his horse and nodding towards her.
Her mother was strangely quiet during the ride and Elizabeth began to worry that there was more bothering Mrs. Bennet than the problem at hand.
“Mamma?”
“Yes, Lizzy?”
“Is there anything weighing on your mind? You have been very quiet…”
But Mrs. Bennet still said nothing, till Jane finally pleaded, “Please, Mamma. Tell us what is wrong. For we would like to help you in any way we can.”
Mrs. Bennet heaved a great sigh then said, “This is all my fault, Jane. Lydia’s ruin, and your father’s apoplexy…it is all my fault.”
“No, Mamma, you mustn’t think that way - ”
“But I can,” said Mrs. Bennet, now becoming tearful, “because it is. Only think about it, Jane. Lydia would never have eloped with Wickham if I had ingrained any kind of sense into her. But all I ever taught her was how to catch a man - in any way she could. I never impressed upon her that some men could be evil and use her ill. She trusted that man because of me! And now your father might die because of me!”
She began to sob and Jane, who had been sitting beside her, could only put her arm around her mother’s shoulder and attempt to soothe her. Elizabeth and Jane took turns trying to convince their mother that it was not her fault, but neither were successful. For Mrs. Bennet, who now took all the blame for the recent catastrophe upon herself, would not be swayed from the notion.
“Is your mother well?” Darcy asked Elizabeth at their last stop, ten miles outside of London.
“She will be…eventually,” Elizabeth answered. “Unfortunately, she blames herself for everything, believing that Lydia’s unfortunate decision - and thus my father’s sudden attack - was because she failed to give Lydia better guidance.
There was a thoughtful pause before Darcy asked, “Do you think I might speak to her for a moment?”
“Of course but…you have already done so much…”
