Page 50 of Roses from Pemberley
“You know,” said Darcy, “I too feel that I need to stay with your parents.” He turned to Diana and added, “However, I am certain Bingley intends to go. And he will surely be happy to accompany you.”
Diana wondered if there was something going on between her cousin and Elizabeth Bennet - if this lady was the one he had developed an interest in. But, knowing how reticent Darcy was to speak of himself, she said nothing more about it. She looked again at Darcy, who had grown quiet, and wondered why he decided not to go. Nevertheless, she would visit the parsonage tomorrow and see for herself what the lady was like.
“Bingley is courting Miss Jane Bennet,” said Anne abruptly, seeming to wish the entire world as happy as herself.
“Oh, is he?” asked Diana. “Tell me, is Miss Bennet tall, light-haired and beautiful?”
Her brother laughed. “You know Bingley’s type, do you?”
“Indeed I do,” said Diana, all the more anxious to meet these ladies.
CHAPTER 21 August Caller
Elizabeth spent the next few days after she last saw Darcy attempting to regain her strength. Since she could not walk outside, she took to walking within the parsonage. She would start in the parlour, go through the small vestibule then down a hallway to Charlotte’s back sitting room, then up the stairs then down again. She did this for at least half an hour each day and felt that, though she was still not as strong as before, she was at least getting closer to it.
She also tried not to think of Darcy too much, knowing that if she did, she would again go down a path of acute regret.Best not to think of it,she often told herself.I shall simply apologise when I next see him and hope he will forgive me.
The first day without rain finally came and she waited impatiently for the gentlemen to call. However, nobody came.
“Are you not worried, Jane?” she asked her sister that evening as they sat on Elizabeth’s bed together.
“You mean about Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy?”
“Yes. We did after all rake them through the coals, when they were last here.”
Jane chuckled. “No, I am not worried. For Mr. Bingley has hinted to me several times that he was here to show hisconstancy.” Jane then turned to regard her younger sister. “And you, Lizzy? Do not tell me that you doubt Mr. Darcy’s affection.”
“Well, I actually do, Jane. I mean, he seemed quite hurt that I trusted Mr. Wickham over him. And he could not even be bothered to stay to talk about it.”
Jane patted her on the hand, recalling everything that Darcy had done during her sister’s illness. “But Darcy is loyal…and constant. You really should not doubt him. Tell me, Lizzy, do you care for him?”
Elizabeth was quiet for a time, thinking of her tumultuous relationship with Darcy. Eventually, still not wanting to fully admit her love, she answered, “I believe…I could, if I were to know him better.”
Jane smiled. “That is good Lizzy. For I always thought you disliked him.”
“No, not anymore. Not after having gone through that illness then realising it was Mr. Darcy who sent for the doctor. I believe he is a good man.”
“And Wickham?”
Elizabeth sighed and considered all the conversations she’d ever had with Wickham. “Perhaps I was wrong to trust him so implicitly. And on so short an acquaintance. When I think about it, he has not actually done any good for anybody.”
“True,” said Jane.
“It was just his manners that were better.” Elizabeth felt that rising sense of panic again, that feeling of having made a grave error in judgement. “Oh, Jane! Have I been a fool? Have I preferred one man over another simply because he fed my vanity?”
“You had nothing else to go by, as you said,” responded Jane.
Elizabeth recalled the meeting between Wickham and Darcy all those months ago on the streets of Meryton. Darcywas livid, she could see that. But somehow he had restrained his anger and just ridden away. Wickham, on the other hand, seemed almost…afraid. Why? It seemed to Elizabeth - in retrospect - that it was Wickham who had harmed Darcy in some way. She thought of this again and, in light of how Darcy had behaved throughout their acquaintance, it made sense.
He had implied at the Netherfield Ball that Wickham made friends easily but that he wasn’t able to keep them. Darcy, on the other hand, had the loyalty of one such as Bingley. And Colonel Fitzwilliam. And indeed all his relatives.
One man has all the goodness and the other only the appearance of it,she thought regretfully.
“What are you thinking, Lizzy?” asked Jane, breaking into her thoughts.
“I am fairly certain,” she said deliberately, “that I have been a fool.”
Jane chuckled. “Now, Lizzy, do not be hard on yourself. If you believe that you were wrong about Wickham, then you simply must talk to Darcy about it. I am certain that he will appreciate your new found confidence in him.”
